Time Lost

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Time is of the essence, as I have heard. There are so many demands in life that there is not enough time to accomplish or fulfill goals and dreams. It's a feeling of running out of time just like the White Rabbit in Alice and Wonderland will say, "I'm late, I'm late for a very important date." It is always pressed for time, as it chips the life away from you.

As a single mother of three children working two jobs full-time and part-time, along with studying, I routinely drag myself to work looking forward to the weekends. My mindset is chained to work, getting paid, and paying the bills. It was a sick feeling to serve money for my needs that took time away from my family and severing my marriage.

During the painful divorce over his marathon of infidelity in our 16 years of marriage, it took a toll on my well-being. My heart dropped and crushed into a million pieces. All emotions stirred within me like a perfect storm. I'm a woman of faith who doesn't believe in divorce. I didn't see this panning out unexpectedly. I only thought I would meet that one person to be with for the rest of my life and that was it. I thought I did everything right to support my family. He rationalized I was always working, going to school, and studying, and that I was not around to tend to his needs. I can blame myself due to the busy work and school schedule; nevertheless, I thought the sacrifices I made to keep the family afloat would make him understanding in all of this. However, with the time lost, it resulted in a disconnection in the relationship.

During these circumstances, I could have gone out hitting up drugs and alcohol and go suicidal, but instead, I started eating healthier and staying fit. Working out at the gym is the safest way to release the pain and tension and exhaust my anger and emotions. I decided to turn my life around and be a better role model for my kids so they would not have to go through the same affliction as I did. I choose to turn to my faith in God and seek His guidance and hope. His mercy and grace are always sufficient for me during my weakness. He sustains me and gives me the wisdom to live through this. Feeding myself to something good for the mind, body, and soul outputs a positive outlook in my life and makes a change in how to work smarter, not harder, in long hours.

His word in Matthew 6:24 says, "No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money." Wouldn't it be great to have the financial freedom not to let money rule over you but have it working for you? It's the struggles of slaving for money that cost us time away from family, friends, and our dreams. Isn't it time to take charge of the life you deserve to do what fulfills your purpose in life? Don't let the "I shoulda, woulda, coulda" hang over your head. It's time to exhale and get busy living. Take a chance to control time.

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