Know the Secrets of Master Influencers to Get What You Want (Part1)
Babies and psychopaths have one thing in common: They’re excellent at getting what they want! You could learn a thing or two from these creatures…
Ok, I know what you’re thinking— far reaching comparison, right?. But have you ever wondered why some of your wishes come true while others don’t? Believe me or not, there’s a process behind it. It’s called the manifestation of your desires and once you understand it, you can take steps to get what you want—yes, faster.
Why set goals at all?
Simply put, you are like a Porsche 911 without a steering wheel if you don’t aim at anything to achieve. More importantly, goals can unleash some amazing subconscious resources that have the power to create the ideal world. It’s like bridging the gap between the present conditions and your desired outcome.
I always tell people that you are the creator of your reality. If there’s something you want, ask for it! Get aggressive, optimistic, positive or emotional—evolution says it takes all styles to get ahead. Whether you’re trying to change the world or lodging a complaint, begin by evaluating the impact of your goal on someone or some cause beyond you.
I agree you may have heard these statements many times in your life without having a clear idea of what they really call for. So, I broke down in a few steps how to master the skills to get what you want—only for you.
Complain to win, not to feel worse
The first step to effective complaining is to make a plan. There are basically 3 steps
• First, decide exactly what you want to achieve in detail.
• Second, figure out who may have the ability to provide you with what you want.
• Third, ascertain the best way to get that person to give it to you -- what you want that is.
Seems very logical & easy to you, right? But trust me, in the heat of frustration people simply forget to follow the plan. Remember that when people receive criticism, the basic instinct is to get defensive, which might push the issue back to you. So be extra nice in order to get rid of that existential dilemma of complaints. I'll explain.
I can give you an example from my life...
After suffering through months of loud construction from a building adjacent to my apartment, I delivered a complaint to my landlord. I started off by saying how affectionate I am to my building. Then I asked for a reduction in my rent because the interminable sound cut my productivity as a writer. Finally, I added that I understood that it’s not my landlord’s fault by any means but I thought he would be so concerned about the inconvenience of his tenants.
Guess the result. A rent reduction for 4 months!
Figure out what others want
Kevin Dutton, Ph.D., one of my favorite authors and the writer of "Split-Second Persuasion: The Ancient Art and New Science of Changing Minds", portrayed an example of the above point. Let’s take his example directly.
"I once attended a New Year’s Eve party and the seven-year-old son of the hostess wanted to stay up late.’ His mother said, ‘You know what happens when you don’t go to bed on time. You wake up late and cranky.’ The boy replied, ‘Well, you don’t want me running around early when you’re lying in bed with a headache, do you?’ ‘Finally, the boy was allowed to join the reverie."
Now, after analyzing that incident I am amazed by the child’s tactic of leading with the other person’s perceived self-interest. The little boy framed his request in terms of his mother’s desires, and he eventually got what he wanted.
Sometimes, it takes a form empathy to evoke someone else’s motivations. Think about highly charismatic people around you, or those psychopaths. You will find how empathetic they seem. I know you have a frowning eyebrow right now because I include psychopaths under the same umbrella. Well, their empathy is the “cold” empathy.
Confidence works the same as empathy. I know many people in my life who don’t want to make demands because they’re embarrassed about the outcome of a request. Just be strategic while considering another person’s perspective. That’s not ruthless, that’s what makes you smart, to be honest.
Thank you for reading, and may you find all the remaining of which you are searching for on the 2nd part of this series.