We’ve measured time in seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, seasons, years, and so on. But I think there is way more to it than just the measurement. When I was mourning my father’s passing I was completely overwhelmed by my emotions. And I had a moment where I was in a disturbance of time so to speak. The emotions I was feeling were about my past, how I lived my days growing up with my father, which were positive feelings. But at the same time I was feeling the emotions for the future, the time I would not be having with my father anymore, a feeling of loneliness. And in the present, I felt the pain, sadness, because I lost a loved one and I was having those feelings at the same time. And for me, time really just slowed down. But for the world around me, time just passed normally. I met with a friend that day my father passed at we were at the market. I was walking the street and I had a tunnel vision. Everything around me just was blurry except for my center, but I wasn’t focused at all. I was in a state of surviving.
Sometimes there is something that I really want, but I can’t have it. Either I don’t have the money or the time. The challenge for my six-pack is something I don’t have the time for either, however, I just really want to do this challenge for myself and I prioritized this challenge so I will do the things I have to do. It really takes commitment, because there are so many distractions that will take me away from that challenge. Because I have work, I spent my time to that. And when I get back home I just want to relax. That relaxation costs me a lot of time, more than I would have wanted. That is because I did not set a goal for myself and I was just killing time. That has changed now that I have a goal and I found out that I do have the time, instead of excusing myself.
A simple timeline that we all face. The big mystery is when. I would love to be healthy and live at least 127 years. But anything can happen that will terminate that dream. I could say I’m a quarter of the time that I want to live, but I might as well already be halfway. And I would love it to be remembered as a great person. And that has everything to do with role-playing. Because I would love to have been a great husband, son, brother, father, grandfather, co-worker, friend, mentor, and so on. There are so many roles I would want to fulfill and each requires time because each role demands time from my life. For example, as I planned to go to the gym, and a co-worker is ill at home and I’m being asked to replace that person. The challenge is to do them both the same day, the problem is that the gym isn’t open 24/7 so it really has to fit in the schedule. But it takes commitment to go to the gym and afterward to go to work. But that will cost me some time from my relaxation or some other plan.
My father played his role as a father to me. That role of his was important for me and I loved spending time with him. Because we had spent 20 years together he played his part with me. And I played my part as a son. So we both had roles. But there were more roles to be played. He was also a father to my brother, a husband to my mother and so on. And I play a son to my mother and a brother to my brother and so I have many more roles. But to play these roles, I have to put the time and effort in them. By neglecting the role, I will not be very successful for that relationship. By spending too much time on one role, I won’t be able to spend the time to the other roles. That’s why I see that time is so important to playing those roles. The amount of people that showed up to honor him, was for amazing. So I'd say he did well in playing his roles.
In order to be remembered as a great person, I need to look at my end. How do I want to see that picture? That is the influence I have right now. The past has already written my life until this very moment. If I’m off track, I can do something about it right now to go into the right direction. But I can only go into the right direction if I know what that picture looks like.
Yolo is short for you only live once. To me, it has the image that I need to do a lot of things in my life. But that does not really resonate with me. What does resonate with me is the quality of what I do in life. So when I’m spending my time with a great friend, I want to give that friend my attention and I want his or hers attention as well. And so I’m frustrated when that person is looking at the cell phone while we’re in conversation. I just need really to be there when I’m having that conversation. In order to have some quality time,
I think the best way to describe the difference between quantity and quality would be as having a holiday abroad. There’s a big difference when I have 2 weeks the time or half a year the time to watch and experience the culture. And I guess it’s always a struggle between quantity and quality and there’s not really a right or wrong about it. What is important is the value I take from spending that time I have at that moment. In two weeks I probably do more than the first two weeks of that half a year.
So the things I discovered in the connection with time are:
- There’s a will to survive for as long as possible. That
will tosurvive becomes strange when I encounter pain.
- In order to fulfill the bigger picture of my life, I need to prioritize what is most valuable to me.
- Taking the roles that I have for granted will not be very effective to the relations I have with people. In order to be great to them, I need to spend my time with them.
- There’s a difference between quantity time and quality time. I don’t need to look at it that one of them is better than the other. Each circumstance requires some time from me. I need to decide what is most valuable, not only for me but also for the other.
So now that I know that time is really important, I thank you from the bottom of my heart that you’ve read it all through.
And if it's not too much to ask, take your time and feel free to comment ;)