Growing together, growing apart

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We fall in love and fall out of love. How is it possible that yesterday we loved and adored each other, today we don’t talk. Lost the respect, lost the interest in one another, lost our love.

Where did it go wrong? Where and why did it start so well and why didn’t we stop it when we noticed the first signs of falling apart? Why didn’t we care to care?

Because we didn’t talk anymore, we didn’t care to listen to one another and to give or listen to our feedbacks. And then one day we found ourselves living with a stranger, with an enemy.

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We form as we grow. By education, by experiences, by our environment, by everything surrounding us. But we don’t grow with the same speed. And as we grow our needs and demands grow with us and we adjust to them. There are who like slipping into their comfort zone, staying in and hiding there all their lives, only react to the circumstances and just tiptoe through life hoping to make it safely to grave. There are who are more ambitious, more adventurous and demanding. And there are who never stay still, who are ready to risk, who don’t accept boundaries and limits and keep chasing after their last dream no matter what.

There’s a reason why we meet people in our lives from different backgrounds and of different demands. It is almost always very interesting to observe and learn. But when we fall in love, start a relationship and enter into marriage without having a clear idea about the other person’s aspirations and purpose in life, it is inevitable we are going to suffer.

Relationships can make you or they can easily break you.

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People are like rays of light. They could even have the same source, starting from the same point, as two straight lines. But rays bend on the way by hitting different obstacles and objects and this determines their direction, speed and angles. And if they don’t get adjusted throughout the journey, or they will soon have different targets to hit, or they meet later on at some point or fall far apart completely.

In a relationship is the same. If two people have a different purpose in life, they will struggle to stay together, no matter how much they were attracted to each other at the beginning. Relationships are a hard work and not just when convenient, it is a commitment for as long as it takes. Being interested in someone or keen on having a relationship is not enough a reason. It takes much more to stay in a straight line and committed. And only when you are committed you are prepared to do whatever it takes to make it work.

My long-term marriage felt apart. At the time I was devastated even though I was the one to initiate the separation. I had initiated it as I was the only one committed, it seemed to me. We grew apart long before. We had different ambitions. More like I was that risky and ambitious person, he liked very much his comfort zone. He liked it, detested it at the same, but wasn’t willing to leave it and do something about it rather than just feel unhappy and take full accountability for it. That’s how I had seen it. I was unhappy too and it was time to feel and act responsibly. Time was running out. Time is always running out. I wanted to chase my dream, not demons.

So imagine yourself as a ray of light. What target are you going to hit? Do you have a clear idea about your direction, have you determined your purpose? When you stumble, do you adjust and redirect yourself or just let it take you like a wind? 

And thanks to my mentors I managed to see it. I did find out that I can be a mummy and still start building something big and my own. That it is possible to have it all with the right mindset. That to dwell on my past will not take me far. They taught me that I AM ENOUGH to become great, create great future and great new relationships despite the past. And I committed to it. I am prepared to pay a price of discipline, instead of the price of regret for not trying it. Discipline weighs ounces…regret weighs tons! I never liked the comfort zone that much anyway.

If you are curious about my mentors and their vision which encouraged me when I needed it, about their work and support and if you are prepared to commit to your brighter future too, click on my name or contact me. Nothing comes easy, though, without the right mindset and positive attitude.

Only you can change your circumstances.

Bless,

♥Stanislava♥

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Thank you

stanislava@stanislavahalefreedom.com

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