You are unforgettable!
Mom, the brightest star in the sky. Love you forever!
So many people tell me I look like my mom. Not as much my looks as that I remind them of her. The way I act, the way I am, my temperament, values, even craziness. It is incredible to hear it. And I know I owe her everything I am, all she taught me and am thankful for what I inherited from her.
She passed away long ago.
But mom, you are unforgettable! You’ll be remembered and always in my heart.
Everything I am is everything she was, but couldn’t express it freely. She lived in very conservative times of old communistic Czechoslovakia where everybody was either communist or religious, or christian, or secretly both. Her life was conditioned by her very strict catholic upbringing and expectations. I always knew she felt caged and every time she wanted to express herself she felt misunderstood by her family, by her husband and by her surroundings. Sometimes even rejected. There were some codes to obey, rules to follow and expectations as how to behave, act and what to do that everybody would be satisfied, at least on the surface. She never liked it but followed it anyway as a good and obedient child, exemplary daughter, devoted wife and loving mother. If it looked good, it was good enough for everyone. Personal happiness didn’t matter, personal development wasn’t important. Appearance was. She, being different, had difficulties to be accepted and she paid the highest price for it.
It cost her her life. I lost my mom, my children, which she never had a chance to know and love and vice versa, lost a chance to know this great person who they could call grandmother.
But what I didn’t lose is what I inherited from her, what she taught me whether knowingly or from my observations.
She told me to be myself no matter what other people think or do.
She told to be free, she told me how important freedom is. Something she could hardly experience herself, but she had it hidden deep within her heart.
She told me to stay away from false people as they will bring me down and drain my energy.
How to make the most of what you have, even from what it could look like or is your handicap.
One phrase I particularly remember she was saying and believing in, something that I strongly remember when I am in difficulties: “every situation has a solution”
She always found time for me, to talk to me, to listen to me, she, in fact, always had time for everyone. She showed me what love and selflessness look like. I had never known such generous person as she was.
Why did you have to go so early?
Where are you now, mom? I need to talk to you. No one ever understood me the way you did. The only comfort to me is that you are in a better place, where you can be free as an angel, where you can finally taste freedom you were so deprived of.
I wouldn’t care how much I’d lose just to have one more day with you!
Love you mom forever, Happy Birthday to you in heaven; where else such beautiful soul could be???
Dedicated to my MOM, 3.06.1948-28.06.1999
You are unforgettable!
Mom, you are unforgettable!
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