My Ego and I

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Have you ever had this situation, where you have the best intentions of making a change in your life? Eating better, more exercise, getting out of debt… and after a few days, all your good intentions fly out the window? Why do you think that is?

I’m currently having a very interesting time with my Ego. When I speak of Ego, I mean all the negative and destructive thoughts that come into my mind and are taking over my life. I started a new routine and it has been a real struggle to keep it all together. If I don’t stay focused on the task at hand, I’m totally getting out of hand and I’m all over the place.

For example, I had a call earlier this morning and while it was interesting, and I wanted to know what everybody was sharing, my Ego took over completely! All of a sudden I felt cold and needed to get another sweater (so it took me away from the call), then I got sleepy and I couldn’t concentrate anymore. I was looking out the window and was daydreaming. When our mentor asked what came up for us during the call, I took my chance!

I shared how unfocused I was, how I was bored out of my mind and that I didn’t want to listen anymore, I mean why do I have to attend this call anyway… and although I was really scared that I was hurting the people’s feelings, it felt so good to share this with the group. Because as we discussed further, I realized that I let my Ego just run with it. It wasn’t me who didn’t want to pay attention, it was the Ego that doesn’t want me to change because it wouldn’t be in control anymore.

Does that make any sense??? Well, I read up on it and it seems that during a time of change, we need to be mindful of the fact that we will definitely have a breakdown in association with a breakthrough, that’s why so many people never get to the breakthrough because the breakdown is often too painful to withstand.

As I’m sitting here right now, my Ego already is telling me again that nobody cares if I’m writing this blog or not, but well, I’m sure there is somebody out there that can benefit from my Ego-experience!

Don’t let the breakdowns control your breakthroughs! I know you have it in you!

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