“I do not fix problems. I fix my thinking. Then problems fix themselves.” ~ Louise Hay
We have all been raised in an environment of very high expectations.
Where we are expected “to do well”, follow the rules. To not make mistakes.
We are conditioned by the society to want certain things a certain way, if they are not in that order then we have failed!
How many of us believe that we need go to uni, get a degree, get a job in a city, get married, get on the property ladder, settle down, save for retirement and live happily ever after?
How many people fall into depression and anxiety today, putting pressure on themselves to achieve all the above? We develop a lot of self-criticism and “I am not good enough” ways of thinking if we feel we haven’t achieve these things.
We start comparing ourselves to our friends, family, colleagues etc. We feel bad about ourselves, we feel like we have let everyone down.
It doesn’t stop there, it develops into self-hate.
It then turns into thoughts of “there must be something wrong with me”
“What’s wrong with me?” We ask ourselves.
There’s nothing wrong with you. What is wrong is the expectations that we have chosen to believe.
What you will need to do is to change these expectations. Learn to challenge our existing beliefs, adopt new ones and accept ourselves fully.
Understand that you have a different view of happiness, of life or whatever you want to label it.
Let go of the society’s definition of the perfect life and create your own.
This however, is never easy, BUT it can be done.
The problem is, we all want to be accepted, to be understood, to be belong and to be like others.
We feel inadequate when we don’t have the big city job compared to our old-school friend who has just got their second promotion.
We feel a bit short when all our uni friends are getting married and settling down and we are only moving from one partner to the next.
We feel like we don’t fit in when all our friends are building their property portfolio and we are applying for a loan to go travelling.
We need to draw back into ourselves and ask the question, whose life is this anyway?
We need to learn to love our life choices. Learn to accept ourselves as we are. Accept our quirks and our chosen paths.
Only when we do this other will tag along into our way of thinking and begin to understand us.
Only by accepting and truly loving ourselves, we will influence others to love and accept us the same way.
Self-belief and trusting our own judgement also come to play.
Celebrating your chosen path is very crucial.
Have fun when you are BEING YOU! Smile while you are starting a business venture instead of applying for a mortgage.
Be happy when you are moving countries instead of organising a wedding.
Join or form a group of like-minded people instead of doubting your chosen path.
Be You, Stand Tall and Smile BIG!
It’s the only way others will follow!
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