As I've set goals in my life and worked toward achieving them, I've come to realize that some of my goals can be achieved in the present and the rest I will need to compromise and strategize to realize those goals in the future.
The Importance of Setting Goals
Not setting goals is like shooting without a target. Goals that are measurable, reachable, and ownable can keep us on track in an ever changing world.
The Importance of Compromise
Now that I've stated the importance of setting goals, it's also necessary to mention the truth that since we live in a complex world where people may have different or even conflicting or competing interests, we will most likely not get all that we desire in the present. In other words, we may need to wait for some things and/or compromise to get other things. So what do we need to compromise, what do we not need to compromise?
- What do we need to be open to compromising? How and when we reach our goals can be an "ever fluctuating dynamic." Unexpected events can come up in life and alter the timing and means we use to reach our goals. Sometimes we even need to set different goals that take us to fulfilling our original vision.
- When do we need to not compromise? The short answer is when it takes away from the core of our true and genuine self. Important factors that make up our true and genuine self are our values, character, etc.
Procrastination and Demandingness
Procrastination and demandingness are two extremes when dealing with goal setting. On one hand, we often convince ourselves that we will "do it later" when later tends to result in never. On the other hand, some of us use our goals to create an "agenda focus" where we become so obsessed with what we want that what everyone else wants is completely ignored or not even seen. "My way or the highway" often results in the highway.
Servanthood vs. Slavery
Any good business serves its customers to the best of its ability. The same principle applies in other areas of life where money may not be involved. When we show genuine interest in other's concerns and support them, we may be able to get some of what we want in the process. But we must have a genuine concern for others and their goals and concerns, not just as a means to an ends. However, being a servant doesn't need to lead to slavery where we lose our true and genuine selves to someone else's agenda.
A Careful Balance
As you may see, this is a careful balance we need to always try to reach. If we end up on one extreme where we lose our true selves and become slaves, we will miss out on healthy relationships/ friendships. If we take the "my way or the highway" mentality and become demanding, we will end up alone and with no friends at all.
The Role of Delayed Gratification
When we come to grips with the reality that not all of our goals may be realized in the present, we can embrace delayed gratification. This means we need to patiently wait for these goals to be reached as we assess our lives daily to see what we can do in each season to get closer to our dreams.
Compromising and Perseverence
When we compromise this does not necessarily mean giving up. Compromise means changing the timing or method to reaching our goals or setting new goals at the right time to help us reach our dreams. Patience can build character if we let it.
Both goal setting and compromise are important skills to learn in many areas of our lives. Compromise is to be applied in the timing, methods, and general flexibility of our goals and to be avoided when it relates to our values and character. Procrastination and demandingness are both to be avoided in regard to goal setting. Being genuinely interested in others and their concerns can, in turn, help us reach some of our goals. Interest in others does not necessarily equal losing our true selves and compromise does not necessarily equal giving up.
So where are you in relationship to compromise in your life? First of all, do you have goals? Are you willing to compromise simple things like timing or methodology to reach your goals? Are you genuinely interested in others? Can you show interest and still be your true self? Do you delay gratification of goals to build patience and character? How can you improve in the area of compromising and strategizing in order to realize your goals?