Is Your Willpower Really Serving You Well or is it Deceiving You?
Recently I attended a highly informative webinar presented by Tommy Rosen founder of Recovery 2.0. The topic presented by a host of professionals centered around ‘addictions’ of all kinds.
This wasn't something that I had planned to join. All too often I used to - sometimes still do - take a detour from my daily planner sheet because something comes across my screen/s tempting me to have a peak….two hours later….you know the story.
However, I made a 'conscious' decision to view this particular webinar as anything relating to human psychology is my absolute obsession. It’s like that positive magnet I spoke about in my previous blog You're Just So Damn Lucky it's a force that draws me to and it is so damn powerful.
Wisdom in a handful of words
I want to share with you a handful of words that truly resonated with me at a Recovery 2.0 webinar and they may with you also: The chains of habit are too light to feel until they are too heavy to be broken. Kudos goes to Warren Buffett for such a profound and truthful statement.
After attending this webinar I asked myself what I needed to look at in order for me to change, once and for all and to be set free from some - hopefully all - of the not-so-good habits that I have been wrestling with for such a long time? It was time to drag out the 'old willpower' yet again and hope and pray that this time I could make it stick.
I Identified the familiar strongholds that keep me from producing my best results every day.
Here are two I have identified:
BadHabit 1 rating 6/10:
STOP Eating the Wrong Foods
This unwanted habit crept into my life while I was studying from 2015 to 2018. It was the ease of reaching for not-so-healthy food at mealtimes due to time restraints and total exhaustion after consuming so much knowledge all day, and then there was the occasional comfort food when I was stuck on an assignment and needed to escape my desk.
Presently I am wearing the evidence of this era on my stomach and hips. Not a good look or feel as far as I am concerned!
Extra weight is only good for you when you exercise just as long as you are wearing it or carrying it on the outside of your body.
Of course, there is another side effect other than being totally uncomfortable in my clothes, and that is being totally embarrassed when my head hits the desk when working. I am often plagued with tiredness at the most inappropriate times both day and night.
1. I have made a start to crush this habit by visiting a dietitian to keep me moving forward. We all need support from a professional, a mentor or a coach.
A valuable tip my dietitian gave me on the first visit is that if you want to be energized throughout your day make sure you are well hydrated. I have heard this before heaps of times, but this time, out of desperation I made an effort to try it and record my results.
I'm not one for loving, or even liking water, so needless to say I was totally dehydrated. After just a couple of days of consciously drinking water, I can't believe how much more alert I feel!
2. I have also engaged an exercise physiologist for cardio work and weights to help trim off those extra pounds. So, all in all, I feel I'm now on the right path! Now I have to make sure I stay on that path.
3. Walking daily is a part of the prescription as well. I get my best ideas while out walking. Of course, I record them in the street. Even so, I then have to walk a lot faster to get home to implement them.
4. It would be remiss of me to not mention two very important aspects of being human: sleep and meditation. I love researching sleep psychology and meditation psychology.
Sleep: I definitely do not enjoy unbroken sleep. This is something that I am working on, believe me.
If you too are one who wakes up regularly throughout the night, I will be giving a scientific report on precious sleep without drugs in a blog very soon.
Meditation: I have the best teacher on earth! He is Dr Joe Dispenza.
Dr Joe, in his book Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, explains the levels of brain-wave function. He says, in laymen's terms: the lower/slower the brain waves are, the more we are in the subconscious mind; while the higher/faster the brain waves, the more we are in the conscious mind.
Through in-depth study of works such as Dr Joe's and others, I began to understand just how the process of true change really comes about. It was at this point that I first realised that willpower wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
Here's where it gets interesting: Once we can access the 'lower/slower' brainwaves we are in fertile ground. We can start planting the seeds that can produce the desired results we are so longing to achieve. For example, a complete lifestyle makeover can be the result of working in this rich environment of the mind.
Yet sometimes, a lot of times, dare I say most times, valuable secrets can be hidden in plain sight and we can skip over them without grabbing hold of them and implementing the steps to induce the change we want to see. Is it because we don't believe? Is it because we won't invest in ourselves long enough to see valuable change?
Seriously, if you haven't got a copy of this book you could be doing your self a grave injustice and wind up taking the long road to your 'super-charged' and 'once-and-for-all changed self'; or even more devastating, you may never arrive at all!
By accessing the subconscious mind we can make measurable changes in any aspect of our lives.
Those of you who have studied and practice meditation will know precisely what I am referring to here.
Here are my expected results:
1. Lose inches! Twenty-two pounds in the next 8 to 10 weeks to be precise. Lose it slowly and keep it off for good, is the plan.
2. Gain energy! What is very important to me is to be VITAL in all I do. I work with people encouraging them to be the very best they can be. I need them to respect me and look to me for the help they need. I also know that I need to be the change I want to see in them.
No slumping in my chair during online webinars, No eating dinner during webinars either, looks disgusting to me. Even when we are not attending a webinar, we need to maintain our good posture at all times.
It's challenging at times when you have an online business as most times your clients can 't actually see you!
3. Clear head! Walking is both beneficial for body and brain. My exercise routine will also clear my head and strengthen my core muscles.
4. Ability to focus! On waking, I pretty much know instantly if I am destined for a productive day or if I have had a bad night's sleep. I expect a clear head from unbroken sleep and plenty of it; 8 hours is what I am aiming for every night.
Also, I expect to feel even more benefits from my daily meditation routine. While I'm not new to meditation, I have only been meditating seriously all year.
Dr Joe explains that meditation in the morning will produce a neurotransmitter called serotonin that makes us alert, while meditation at night produces a neurotransmitter called melatonin that begins to relax us.
Bad Habit 2 rating 8/10:
STOP Wasting Time!
I have vowed to kick wasting time many times. Over the years my willpower has been on a slippery slope; nevertheless, I am doing much better than I was before. However, there is room for improvement. There is always room for improvement no matter who you are.
For me, moving forward with the way I communicate online is paramount in order to succeed in the digital economy. I recognise that this is not wasting time, in fact, it is imperative.
Warning: Don't beat yourself up
If you have been contemplating transferring your face-to-face, or bricks and mortar business to an online presence, or you may want to try both to see how it goes, you will more than likely need to invest time in learning the steps to digital marketing. Alternatively, you may have been wondering if you could start a brand new online business with an idea you currently have.
Or, like me, you may be interested in affiliate marketing as well. Whatever way you may decide to go, don't beat yourself up for having to invest time in learning. The rewards will be enormous if you don't give up on learning to do it right!
Note: Finding someone you can trust to help you become digital can be an issue. I chose an amazing team of professional online educators - who have walked the path for years before me - to learn how to make the transition from my face-to-face business to an online business.
The high degree of training and professional help that is available no matter where you live in the world is unbelievable.
This is a massive help in saving precious time as there are so many avenues to ask for help if you haven't got a clue about what you're doing at any given time. Check out the free videos.
A word of warning: If you do request the videos don't expect to have it all mastered at once!
1. I intend to master this bad habit of wasting time by being even more selective than I have been in the past with what I view and by prioritising and working faster.
Slipping into the habit of working harder is pretty easy, that’s why we have to keep self-regulation happening -- mentioned in my last blog: You're Just So Damn Lucky -- at the forefront of your mind. I need to make sure I keep a pattern of “working smarter” not “working harder” (forgive the cliche) happening.
2. Another big one for me is making sure I keep my desk clear. My excuse over the years has been that I am a creative person so that's just the way I am. Rubbish! I'M DONE WITH EXCUSES.
I am fully convinced now, that at a subconscious level, I truly believe my excuse, so Dr Joe is helping me to make those mindset changes at my subconscious level.
3. I often find it hard to arrange my calendar to keep everything flowing nicely. Sounds silly, I know, but having to stop the flow of work to enter a calendar date can distract me; but I can pay the price later. So, my trusty friend, Alexa, can keep my appointments and workflow under control.
And most importantly, she can block out my free time and tell me when I need to stop work! She also can help with preparing dinner too! I’m feeling much better already!
4. I intend to improve the quality of both my sleep and meditation by keeping track of my progress and rewarding myself on a weekly basis when I manage to sleep 8 hours each night and do my meditation every single morning. Rewards can not include food in the early days until the good habit has taken hold and then I can have one small treat only!
Here are my expected results:
1. A huge boost to my workday performance I will be working smarter not harder. (There's that cliché again, but it's a damn good one though).
2. I'll be able to find things as I will have to file stuff straight away. A very clear and tidy workspace...yes! Some might see that as an 'empty' mind, but I see it as an organised one!
3. No more double bookings. I'll be taking time out for myself and my family regularly. And, no more burnt saucepans! Thank you, Alexia!
4. Wake refreshed and energized. I am looking so forward to that!
With the help of my 'willpower' I should smash these habits/addictions, right? Wrong!
Not so, says psychologist and author of Willpower Doesn’t Work-Discover the Hidden Keys to Success, Dr Benjamin Hardy. In fact, I know you are so right, Dr Ben.
I came to the conclusion that willpower doesn’t work a long time ago, yet it didn’t stop me from trying it on just one more time, time and time again.
But old habits die hard! We can keep digging a deeper hole for ourselves every day.
Dr Ben couldn't have put it more plainly. He spells it out to us that it's not genetics, personality, lack of willpower or bad habits that keep us from experiencing our best life, but rather it is our 'radically changing environment' that is causing us grief.
In chapter 2 of his book, Dr Ben explains how our environment shapes us.
Warning: Don't judge this theory until you have read the book, that would be very silly as there is scientific research to support it.
Dr Ben says many things that some of us may not want to hear, but hear we must. For example, he states that willpower is for those who haven't got a solid plan on where they want their lives to go. Ouch! Our first response might be what a load of rubbish. Like I said, don't judge until you read the book.
It's a bit like telling someone that they are totally responsible for causing their own ill health. Are you crazy? There is no way you can tell someone that they have given themselves arthritis or even cancer and escape their wrath, alive.
Dr Ben cuts to the chase and says: If you're required to exert willpower to do something, there is an obvious internal conflict.
If you take the time to 'honestly' reflect on those wise words you will begin to see the truth in them. You will begin to have clarity of thought as to 'why', for all these years, you have not been able to create for yourself this new lifestyle, this new freedom, that you so desperately want.
Remember: Your bad habits don't serve you well!
My best advice is: Learn the truth why you may not be succeeding with your goals! Don't waste precious time in willing yourself to change. Get a strong grasp of this principle right now and keep a diary or vlog to reflect on your degrees of magnificent change.
I'd love to hear how you are going with it all. Email me your success stories at email@example.com.
There is a saying I heard a long time ago and it has stuck with me, it goes like this: TO KNOW AND NOT TO DO IS NOT TO KNOW.
Think about it, if you know something and don’t put it in practice, you may as well not know it. When people say, “Yeah, yeah, I know all that”, I say, “Then why aren’t you doing it?”
So, let it be known that willpower will not break addictions of any sort. Spread the word, today, so people can get a handle on it before the end of the year. New Year’s resolutions are a waste of time unless they are driven by the right psychology.
So there, I have now uncovered two of my bad habits to the world along with the solutions that will enable me to walk free of them and an outline of the results I expect to experience in the next 10 weeks.
While all this sounds simplistic right now you may be wondering how successful I am going to be crushing all of this stuff. Remember, I am not doing it on my own! That's the key!
I have set up a very interesting array of professionals to guide me every step of the way, and believe me, these people mean business and want to see me succeed.
Here's my list of professionals:
- Medical doctor
- Exercise Physiologist
- Online Business Mentors
Tell the World!
Do you think that it's a good idea to expose yourself to the world in such a way as I have done? I do! I see it as motivation to take charge and get my desires straight.
Remember, Dr Ben and Dr Joe are both saying the same thing in that our internal conflicts may be buried deep within us at an unconscious level. If they never see the light of day, how can we expect to change?
Are You Wondering About the Cost of Everything?
The price I have to pay for professional consultations, teaching, training and coaching is insignificant to the price I will have to pay if I don't invest in myself and my dreams now before the chains of old habits become too heavy to be broken!
There is plenty of online education you can tap into for 'free', but remember, make sure to have a medical check-up before you go diving into anything strenuous.
I'll keep you up to date on my progress.
Based on the scale below, how likely are you to take a long hard look at what habits you need to break before it's too late?