Welcome to this blog, I am starting this online life to prove to myself and others that another way is possible. Taking the blue or the red pill?
As a kid, I remember having big dreams of grand adventure, big hopes of world peace, confidence in having a perfect love life and relationships. But all that slowly came to a grinding halt as adulthood established itself and crushed the boy that once was so full of confidence, anticipation, and joy for life.
Suddenly there were bills to pay, universities to attend to, jobs to get and keep, and for what? To make it in the rat race of money, fame, fulfillment, respect, recognition, not disappointing anybody, to make them proud, right? And is it worth it to put yourself on the sidelines to satisfy others?? Is that a way to live? If you love that kind of life it certainly is worth it and I don´t judge anybody, but for me, it always felt like there was something missing without being able to put my finger on it.
In my early twenties, I was still able to travel a bit and follow my big passion of surfing but soon I fell into a vicious cycle of work, paying bills, work, sleeping problems, work, depression, paying bills, work, and ultimately self-medication only to get through the days in, what I thought at the time to be a terrible world that I couldn´t handle any more.
My jobs never gave me any longer spells of fulfillment or much money to pursue my passion either. I tried a lot of things, in fact, I wish I would have had a GoPro strapped to my forehead for every job I had. Would have made a great fail-of-the-month compilation clip.
So I kept searching because hope and conviction in myself never really left me completely, I never really blamed anybody for my misery so I started improving myself, slowly. I did yoga, meditation, running, seeing a therapist. It helped....a little. But it still left me doing jobs I really didn´t enjoy doing on an everyday basis, and that kept me and my talents under a lid. Until now I have been searching and improving, especially since becoming a father of two.
I could keep taking the blue pill and keep falling down the spiral or I could take the red pill and find out the truth about myself. So I took the red pill....the only way to say goodbye to the rat race.
Can you relate?
Thank you so much for reading this and please leave a comment, get in touch, share if you relate.