Relationship with Self

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What an awesome week. Let’s start out by considering what has happened for you this week that has been awesome, and that you have been grateful for. This week for me there has been a big lesson around me understanding my responsibilities to myself when in a relationship, and linking that with being authentic. I don’t have a lot of confidence when it comes to relationships which leads me to not speaking my truth – not being authentic.

I have dwelt on this as I’ve moved through some questions around my relationship with myself and my partner this week. I’m thinking deeply about questions coming up to better understand if I’m seeking to answer the question using my values, his values or values I’m imposing on myself which aren’t truly mine. This is what speaking my truth means for me, but I continue to learn what my truth is and how that truth interrelates with my relationship with self.

Always so intertwined these themes. But I am so grateful to be able to have these reflections to get really clear about what I want and to be truly confident that the decision is I make is in alignment with my values – my truth.

I have run the introductory coaching session with a number of new clients this week and this has highlighted to me how little we focus on our relationship with self. When we stocktake our relationships so often we consider our relationship with others – friends, family and colleagues – and we overlook our relationship with ourselves. There are many reasons why this dynamic may exist in your life – for me growing up there was a sense that considering oneself was selfish and self-centred. That it was a better, more appropriate approach to consider others first.

What I have learnt to understand and continue to work to reset this historic patterning – is that focusing on oneself is the best place to start. Somewhat paradoxically, the more we focus on loving our self and caring for our self, the better we are able to love and care for others. The aeroplane safety message reminds me of this –put on your own oxygen mask first, then look to help others. Without oxygen, without life, we can’t help others.

Caring for self comes in many ways, our needs and subsequent routines are as unique as we are. For me, it includes activities like my daily exercise and my morning meditation – even if it is only 10 minutes of meditation and a 15-minute dog walk. I allow myself the flexibility to reduce the time to the smallest amount I am far more likely to achieve that goal than miss it. Also included in my self-care routine is seeing a naturopath regularly, catching up with my best friends, eating well, thinking supportive thoughts about myself and taking some time out of my weekly routine to just sit quietly and look at the sky.

I encourage you to think about the actions that you take each day, week or month to take care of yourself. Have a think about where changes may be helpful, test out a new strategy or improve the variety of activity. Do something different – a change is as good as a holiday!

However, you do it, give yourself permission to look after yourself.  Be kind to yourself and you will be better able to spread that kindness everywhere you go.

Love you all,


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