In this post, I will describe and explain some of the things that do happen to us when practicing meditation. While a plethora of scientific studies
How meditation changed me and my life forever
First of all, I want to give you a glimpse into my past. The time in my life where I didn´t practice meditation. Without making this an essay about my life I can just tell you that I had a pretty confusing childhood. My parents moved us around from country to country because of my fathers' jobs and that left me feeling very confused about my identity.
I never felt like I belonged in any country, instead, I felt like I was peeking in through a little window into the different cultures I found myself in.
Very long story short, when I became a teenager this started manifesting as a restlessness and thoughtfulness. I was desperately looking for attention and acceptance from those around me so I would finally fit in.
This might sound like your regular teenager but all of this later resulted in depression and self-medication which was spinning out of control quickly, and I spent a good ten years of my life in this vicious cycle.
Then, one day, while skateboarding my friend hit his head so badly and passed away in my arms. This was at the peak of my depressive state and sent me into a 3-month binge that I will never forget. But at the end of it, a very dear friend of mine suggested that I should try meditation.
At this point, I was extremely desperate and willing to try anything.
So, I signed up for a 10-day silent meditation retreat. When I got there and started sobering up I was a real mess. The other participants were talking to each other while we were getting registered. I sat in a corner hiding under my hoodie so didn´t have to show my shame to anybody.
The meditation started and after a few hours I had packed my bags and was ready to escape, luckily I spoke to the manager and informed him about my departure and he offered me to talk to the teachers about my situation which I did.
This made me stay for another day.
The second day came, I was crying and mourning the loss of my friend and packed my bags again. Again, the manager organized for me to see the teachers and they told me that my crying was good because finally, I had started dealing with my problems.
I will never forget this moment for the rest of my life because instead of looking for help and change from the outside like I had done every second of my life until this point,
I realized that only I could help myself.
Frome blame to gratitude
I stayed for another day and a person was sneezing and coughing continuously throughout the meditation sessions, I was really annoyed and kept blaming this person for me not being able to meditate.
As the days went by and my meditation got deeper and deeper I started realizing that something was happening to me. I now knew that I would be able to stay the 10 days without escaping. I was grateful to the sneezing person I was blaming before, for teaching me acceptance and gratitude.
Later I learned that this person was quite sick and was offered to go home but the guy was so determined to stay to serve the new meditators by cleaning, making food and all the other chores that need to be done.
This humbled me to my core.
After ten days, I was happier than I had ever been! I felt like a child again, I had my innocence and curiosity back. My bitterness was gone and I was looking forward to my life unfolding before me.
Arriving home was amazing, my friends and family could not believe who they met. Another person entirely had come back, full of joy, gratitude, and energy.
Suddenly life was flowing like a river, the resistance was gone, acceptance was high and I was moving forwards again for the first time in over ten years.
This is now fifteen years ago and I am meditating to this day. I am forever grateful to the persons and circumstances that led me onto this path of meditation and enlightenment.
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