Where is the ideal image coming from?

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Last night before I falling asleep, this idea just came up to me and I started to write things down.

From a young age, I just wanted to fit in, I did what was asked or expected of me. I didn’t really have a lot of self-confidence and neither had I any idea what I wanted to do or become. Well, I did have some ideas, but I wonder now if those were my own ideas or ideas that people expected of me.

Just recently I started to think that it might have something to do with the ideal image. Where’s this ideal image coming from? Is it coming from my own mind, or is it coming from the expectations from society? I have an ideal image of myself, of other people like my future partner, even an ideal image of a dog. Because I did not believe I was living as or to my ideal image, I started to doubt myself and therefore I didn’t get the feeling of fitting in.

Let’s just take the human body for example. Now I’m programmed to observe how someone looks, I will look at the skin color, body shape, hair color, the clothing and so on. There are a lot of categories I put the person in when meeting. For some part, I do think it’s a good thing because I’m always aware of danger. Instinct might kick in when I’m in danger and that will determine for me to fight, flight or freeze. However, I don’t necessarily think that I can determine someone’s look to the person he or she is. What gets noticed are the things that are wrong with the ideal image, like a burn mark or a scar, a missing limb, fat or thin, skin color and so on. There’s always the observer for something that will notice the flaws.

However, there’s also the possibility that someone exceeds the ideal image and in the worst case scenario here, I might end up in a marriage. Things that are beyond my expectation of someone will get noticed as well. Not just for my future partner but also for the kind of body shape I would like to have. This still does not give me an answer to the question where the ideal image is coming from. I do think that society has an influence on the ideal image that I have of myself and that I want to see in others.

It’s clear for me now that sight has a big influence on the things that I perceive. Perceive, now that is something odd. Sight has only an influence on perceiving things. The brain will use sight and if it sees some form of danger, it becomes alerted. When it’s alert it starts to enhance all the senses I have and even the emotions.

Clearly, I have been struggling with the ideal image of myself because I do want to look good. Well, maybe I just want to feel great and that the look has an influence on that feeling. But the thing is, how my body looks will not determine the person I am. What it does tell is how I take care of my body. And that’s where survivability comes to play. My body is the total of the sum. There are organs systems and organs, tissues and cells and more, all working together to make sure that I live.

And this ideal image might just be of influence on survivability as well. If I don’t fit in and I’m cast out of society, the chances are big I might not survive alone. So yes I do the things that society expects of me. I’m not that strong to survive on my own and I don’t think I ever will be, because I do believe that we as a society need each and every one of us. Despite the ideal image we have of others. And I think I can contribute more to society when I live the life I want to live.

Now I don’t have any proof of this, this is the work of my brain last night, but I’m eager to find out about this. Do you have any books to recommend about the subject on an ideal image? Or do you want to share your own thoughts on it?


I wish to hear from you!