Don’t you just love it when people say you're just so damn 'lucky' when you have achieved something that they would truly love to have achieved themselves?
This old cliche usually shows up in the answer: “Yes, it’s amazing really, it seems the harder I work the luckier I get.”
Those who try to emulate the success of others will usually fail miserably if they have a preconceived idea that positive thinking alone, without consistent hard work and education, is all that they need to turn their life magically around.
That didn't work for me, and I doubt very much if it worked for you either.
We can be as positive as we like without realising that we may need help when obstacles keep showing up. Changing how we think can often teach us how to quit hitting the repeat button that automatically (implicitly) sets us up for failure in business at which time we may say we are down on our 'luck'.
Chapter 1: Lucky Me
I’ve spent a lifetime learning and developing businesses where I traded time and knowledge for money. I spent the first half of my adult life failing forward - no luck there!
If you know what that's like you will know that you have the ability, the desire, the drive and the motivation, but not the top-shelf, up-to-date knowledge necessary for this changing world. But because you were born with an entrepreneur spirit you press on...
I pressed on and became 'lucky'! My most successful entrepreneur venture for three decades was as an author, editor, teacher, presenter and publisher.
I delivered countless conferences, workshops and courses. A lot of the time I spent travelling, mainly by road, long distances to venues where I delivered my success blueprint called How to Stop Stalling and Start Writing the Story of Your Life to adult students who had a dream of writing their stories be them fiction or non-fiction.
As you can imagine this was intense and demanding work delivering the material every time as if it was the very first time I had ever spoken it. But I was passionate about my craft and that passion was my drug!
I think it's fair to say that there comes a time in life when you just want to reinvent yourself, have a change, have some fun, not necessarily radically, but sometimes so, and not always completely, but sufficiently to satisfy your inner-self, enabling you to put your signature to something fresh, something different, sassy, lively, bold and full of spirit.
Do I dare to dream.... a different business, a revamped old business, freedom, no driving from one venue to the other, no 9 to 5, after all, I am the author of my life and I am very, very 'lucky' and I will use my wisdom and 'luck' to propel me forward!
Enter the Internet and my online business! How I got started! One thing I know is that I will be putting my wisdom to good use.
Chapter 2: The wisdom that keeps me 'lucky'
Consistently performing tasks that are proven to propel me forward combined with a positive mindset, education and hard work is the required mix that has made me ‘lucky’
1. Success isn’t always about greatness. It’s about consistency. Consistent hard work leads to success. Greatness will come. - Dwayne Johnson
Research on self-efficacy (aka confidence) shows quite the opposite of what many may think; that is, confidence is not what is needed to produce high performance. In fact, it’s the other way around: high performance is what produces confidence. - Dan Sullivan - Strategic Coach
Here is another surprising comment: Tim Ferriss the American author who has written a number of self-help books based on the 4-hour theme - God bless his soul - loves pursuing ideas that excite him even though he doesn’t know where they may take him. He isn’t choosing to live this way because he has freedom of time and money; rather, he has freedom of time and money because he operates this way.
- Ben Hardy – Psychology PhD
2. You don't need confidence to produce high performance.
On reflection, for me, failing was not so bad, it was a high and often expensive education, the more I failed, the more educated I became (I guess, the 'luckier' I became too, ) the more I strengthened my mental toughness.
Sure, it’s hard getting up again, seeking new opportunities and taking action when friends look at you as if you are either stupid or ignorant or both. But, hey, if you have done a lot of work in the past, to me it doesn’t make sense to just fold up and not benefit from it.
3. See failure not as a cue to give up but to move forward
Who are we listening to?
Some people have a way of bringing you down. It’s sad to say that some people may be jealous if you succeed so be very careful who you confide in or look up to.
I have learnt not to listen to those types unless they can offer me valuable feedback as to what may have gone wrong and what steps I could take to improve my ‘luck’ next time.
4. Choose your friends carefully.
Let’s face it, not everyone knows how to move from a position of failure to a position of success. The challenge is to find someone who can really help us. No matter what area of business we are in or service or trade we do, it crucial that we continue to move forward.
We can't do what we have always done or we will be left behind. The technological age waits for no one.
I have learnt that the best way to grow my business is not to contract out the things I can't do as that keeps me relying on others and can be very expensive. For me, the best option has been to take control and learn the necessary skills to do it myself.
Changing to online is both inevitable and exciting. I am evolving the old and inventing the new with the help of these guys The Six Figure Mentors.
5. Follow wise men and woman who have gone before you.
While this is not always possible financially, there are ways and means of getting help to move you in the right direction.
Yet oftentimes it takes some really hard lesson before we actually stop hitting the repeat button that automatically will set us up for failure, yet again.
6. Quit hitting that repeat button.
Here are two explicit strategies that helped me to stop pressing the ‘repeat’ button and failing forward:
Metacognition is having high self-awareness and control over your thoughts – actively choosing what you want to think about. It is having the ability to critically analyse how you think – this means evaluating how well you performed and what caused your successes and failures. Metacognition is broadly defined as cognition about one's own cognition.
John Flavell's (1979) seminal article on developmental aspects of metacognition and metacognitive monitoring stimulated two decades of empirical and conceptual work in developmental as well as educational and mainstream cognitive psychology. What Flavell basically proposed was that developmental changes in metacognitive knowledge mediate developmental changes in cognitive performance. - Science Direct
7. Delving into Statistics can make you very wise and crazy 'lucky'
It makes sense, for it is what we think about the most that will ultimately drive us to our destiny and that destiny will be determined by the quality of our thinking. If only you and I were taught this in kindergarten.
How can I improve my metacognition skills?
Ask yourself questions such as ‘is this similar to any of my previous tasks?’, ‘what should I have done first?’ and ‘what would I do differently next time?’ Working on your own to develop these types of questions can be hard going. Keep an eye out for my list Ten Metacognition Questions to ask yourself that are absolutely necessary to help you focus on creating a winning mindset that will serve you in all areas of your life.
8. Work with someone you can trust with your life.
You know, the ability to monitor and control our own behaviour, emotions and thoughts. Bandura (2007) argued that self-regulation is essentially an ability that must be persistently developed, despite the presence of stressors and competing distractions.
How do I practise self-regulation strategies?
With self-regulation you are basically working on your own. You and only you can answer the questions you need to ask yourself. Also, I will be posting Ten Emotion Regulating Skills absolutely necessary for you to experience personal happiness, business success and healthy relationships.
Note: Studies have noted a positive correlation between Metacognition and Self-Regulation. These correlations lie in self-awareness, thought and regulatory action. These strategies are not something you for just once and think you have nailed it!
We never stop moving forward, our identity is changing all the time. Every day we learn something new, therefore our brain literally never stays the same, it is malleable, soft and impressionable, which is truly great because we can have so many great opportunities for us to evolve.
9. Just when you are happy with your lot it's time to tweak something. Evolving, redefining and reinventing never stops!
You know yourself, you learn new information through a course, or a great how-to book you simply can’t put down. Once you gain knowledge about great people in history who inspire you to be all you can be there is no going back because you can’t unlearn that knowledge.
10. If you look back it is only to see how far you have come!
Humans are blessed with an unquenchable desire to grow and learn amazing things. By CONSTANTLY developing your curiosity as to what else life could have in store for you and what other fruits you could experience in your future, you are positioning yourself for GREATNESS!
Remember, the more creative, the more positive, the more consistent you can be, and the harder you work at it, the ‘luckier’ you will become!
Based on the scale below, how likely are you to practice metacognition and self-regulation today?