It Was A Setback. How Positive Do You Remain?

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What do you do when your plans didn't go as you expected? Wouldn't it be a good time to evaluate? Deep down you know things can get better. If things are not going as well as you expected, it is for sure; they are going to improve.

We all have those times when things are not working as planned.  It is like a setback, and we feel disappointed. It slows us down and throw us off course.

Over a year ago, I committed to start my online business to improve my quality of life and become self-sufficient. And even though I have already a full-time job as a caregiver for my husband, and I am in charge of all our affairs and household duties, I thought I could cope with both situations easily.

When I started my educational program, I thought I could learn the online business and create an income in no time. But I was wrong. Mastering the skills to be successful in the digital world requires commitment, dedication and going through training diligently.

I tried to rush my education until I realised I was getting nowhere. I had to go back to the basics and start all over again. In the process, I have been gaining skills in the online business, while at the same time, working on my personal discovery. As a result, things have been going a lot slower than I expected.

Managing two completely different positions have not been the easiest but instead of dwelling on what hasn't gone to plan, I decided to take control of the situation.

Reading good books on the topic have given me some ideas that have been useful to me along the way. Hope you find them helpful too.

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BE AWARE OF YOUR THOUGHTS

Take a moment to acknowledge your thoughts, breathe and relax. We all experience hurdles in life and sometimes things don't go as smoothly as we would like to. Be gentle with yourself and with others. Everything will get a lot easier when we take a step back and look at things in a more relaxed way.

  • Get some distance from the situation. Take a walk and relax your mind.
  • Think of something that makes you feel good.
  • Do some self-soothing activities such as listening to your favourite music, reading a good book or engaging in your preferred hobby.
  • Meditation and Yoga are excellent ways to find peace of mind and body awareness.

ASSESS THE SITUATION

  • Think about the situation from an objective standpoint.
  • Take a neutral approach and listen to your intuition.
  • Come back to the situation when you are in a position to look at things calmly.
  • Assess your priorities and evaluate the best way to approach things.

ACCEPT WHAT YOU CAN AND CANNOT CONTROL

  • Things happen for a reason and that influence and shape the outcome.
  • Focus on what you can do to approach the situation more adequately.
  • Believe that you will be able to figure it out as you go along.


LEARN TO ADAPT

The more flexible you are in your plans, the more likely your expectations will be met.

  • Life is not a straight and easy path. Twists and turns will be on the way. Each day we are learning how to adapt to our daily lives and challenges.
  • When you recognise that the original plan didn't go as planned, it is time to formulate the next step to avoid making the same mistakes and to prepare for the challenges that are ahead.


REVISE YOUR PLANS

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Since my original plan didn't work as planned, I began brainstorming about my goals and expectations. The following points helped me to get more focused.

  • Gather information about other alternatives and find the best possible solution to move forward.
  • Re-evaluate the methods and possible outcome of your plans.
  • Involve others in the process - friends, family, mentors - they may have additional ideas.
  • While these new plans may not be as you originally thought, the outcome might be as good as the original.
  • Be confident in your decision and take action.


MANAGING CHANGE

There are a few emotional steps to adjust as you adjust to your new plan:

  • Build resilience. Keep working towards your plan even if things don't seem to go your way.
  • Remember that learning new skills take time and practice.
  • Get clear about the next steps you are about to take. Approach them in a way that you feel enthusiastic and hopeful.
  • Whatever you do, try your best to keep a big perspective. Don't let the worries and concerns of the day dominate your thoughts or weigh you down.
  • When non-supportive thoughts come to mind, stay motivated and continue working towards your goals.

USE YOUR PAST EXPERIENCES AS GUIDANCE

Letting go of past experiences have not been easy for me. But by being aware that the past is just that, the past. We can use those experiences as a helpful tool.

For example, when I started my online business I have to go through different modules. The project is more significant than expected. It was more time consuming than I thought but I was thoroughly enjoying, in doing so, I was neglecting the management and home duties. I felt I was failing.

I took this opportunity to ask for additional help. I ask my husband to help me with some light chores, giving me a bit of extra time to continue with my training.

I could then relax and stay motivated to continue working on my plan. Instead of saying to myself I can't handle it all, which is an unhelpful thought. I kept saying to myself, "If I can keep working on my goals and seek help, then I will achieve them."

  • Seeking advice on the outside can also have a better perspective on the situation.
  • Think beyond conventional boundaries. They make the ordinary into something magnificent.
  • Facing challenges is part of life. They can make you stronger and more expansive.
  • Say to yourself, "I am learning from this. I can do better. I can handle whatever comes my way."
    Keep yourself motivated.

STAND FIRM

  • When you have a big 'WHY', and you are committed to it, keep going no matter what.
  • Focus only on the good you desire.
  • Think and speak more of what you want.
  • If you wanted to be, it is meant to be.
  • Visualise what you want and hold your attention to those images.
  • Lead by example.
  • Find harmony with yourself and those around you.

I refer to these pieces of advice whenever I feel I am moving towards the negative side. I am finding that working on changing the mindset is a consistent work in progress.

In conclusion, you can manage your response to any situation that comes your way. When you learn to master your state of mind - no matter the circumstances - you will always feel in control.

When things don't go as planned for you, how do you handle them? Are there any other suggestions you can add? I'd love to hear from you. 

To Your Success!

Luci