Are you in a relationship where you are co parenting with your ex? Do the children spend alternative weekends and holidays with one or the other parent.

As a parent do you talk ill about your partner to your children?

Fishing for information

When the child comes back from visiting their Dad do you ask them details of how their weekend was and who they were with, what did they do and what did they eat?

Do the children innocently give you the details only to be used by you as a weapon or reason not to send them back to their dads for a visit?

Or do you use the information to call your ex and tell them not to introduce your children to all his latest girlfriends....

Next time they visit they must not talk to aunty Sarah? You tell them??

Rage

So you go on a rage about how you will call child protection next time your child is left alone with your ex’s girlfriend.

You ban him from seeing the child for over a month until they can reassure you that the child will not be left alone with the latest girlfriend?

You even want to know what the child ate! Maybe next time you will pack them some food while you at it! You have been thinking about it actually.

If the child comes back with a new toy which they currently obsessed with, you want to know who bought it for them otherwise you will throw it out of your house and the child will never see it again!

Maintenance

If the father does not pay maintainence on time, you tell the child "no you cannot have sweets, your Dad didnt pay maintenance this month" 

From an early age the child knows what maintenance means!! 

'As soon as the child was able to talk, you would put them on the phone to remind their dad about paying maintenance or you would not go to school'

Next visit

Before the next visit you make sure to get your child a mobile phone so you can call them when they visiting their dad to make sure they are not left with people you don't know!!!

The question is, are you paranoid about who your child spends their time with or you still have feelings for your ex? 

Or are you trying to control a situation that is completely out of your hands? Why do we put so much energy on someone that has clearly moved on?