2016, age 47.
Single and alone, with little job satisfaction and limited "JOIE DE VIVRE", I came to the long-overdue realisation, I was not living the life I had always aspired to.
Lightbulb moment: I took a long hard look at myself and recalled the words from Jim Rohn, "In order for things to change, YOU NEED TO CHANGE."
I made a conscious decision to become willing to do whatever it takes, to change the events of my Life, and in so doing, began a new journey.
I had a complete emotional meltdown, which forced me to take action regarding my mental outlook on Life. I was at the coal-face questioning whether I actually wanted to live. This was not the first time, but definitely the most extreme case of all.
You see, I had hit rock bottom financially, had to close a small business and was reeling from events of the past 10 years and when my landlord asked what had happened to my neck, I realised something had to be done.
Between the years, 2006 and 2009:
- I got divorced.
- Was forced to sell my house;
- Lost my mother to colon cancer;
- Had written a scathing letter to my Father, expressing no further contact with him;
- I squandered over R 5Million, partly by not dotting the “I’s” and crossing the “t’s”;
- Found myself sequestrated;
- Spent 6 years in legal battles;
- Had run-ins with the Law;
- Embarked on various "geographicals" for fear of my ensuing resentments;
- Developed an increased dependency on alcohol.
- Became consumed with rage and vengeance;
Think of the top ranking reasons responsible for suicide – I encountered them all, and in ongoing succession. Little wonder I felt the way I did, after-all, I am only Human.
Through sheer LOVE and PERSUASION from my aunt, I sought rehabilitative assistance for alcohol dependency and underwent a programme recommending a SERIES OF ACTIONS, aimed at affording me a better life.
Lightbulb moment: My Life was NO LONGER MANAGEABLE. I would have to find the means to ACCEPT I had a problem, and SURRENDER to the fact, I had become POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL.
The depression was severe, and my mind became flooded with waves of negativity and retribution. I wanted to kill. Patience and tolerance had left me. I carried “darkness” wherever I went.
Lightbulb moment: What I came to realise in this programme was, abstinence from alcohol was merely a by-product of a DISEASE that was affecting me in ways that were completely oblivious to me. This programme taught me, abstinence from alcohol was just 10% of my problem, there was still 90% to address……What?
I was required to address my personal defects of character by undergoing a complete HONEST MORAL INVENTORY of myself. I was to delve into the RESENTMENTS I harboured, and to look towards my involvement therein – did I in any way act selfishly, arrogantly or with self-seeking motives? What was my involvement in each situation?
Lightbulb moment: Understand this: Resentments are like holding onto a GLOWING EMBER, the only person FEELING THE PAIN, is the ONE juggling and HOLDING onto the COAL.
It was then required of me, to air my “DIRTY LAUNDRY” with another human being, before being afforded the process of making amends – approaching all I had hurt or short-changed in the past. It was further explained to me, this would be an ongoing life-long process.
Lightbulb moment: There were no time restraints involved. The sooner I accomplished these, the sooner I could SET MYSELF FREE. Some amends would only occur when the timing was right. Some may be impossible to make to those no longer with us.
However, the point was, irrespective, they MUST be done.
As of today, I have yet to have a drink and have transformed beyond belief. I have “cleaned house” as it were.
Lightbulb moment: I have made PEACE WITH MY PAST, and addressed my resentments by FORGIVING those I once resented. I remain in the process of making amends, and, CHOOSE not to look too far into the future.
Lightbulb moment: I have come to understand that the past signifies learning, and given we learn from mistakes, doing this, or worse still, LIVING in the PAST, is a reference point to our past PAIN.
Lightbulb moment: On the converse, LOOKING INTO THE FUTURE, means embarking into the unknown. For most of us, this becomes a reference point to fear. FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN. Albeit fears that SELDOM TRANSPIRE.
Lightbulb moment: Therefore, the safest and best place to be, is in the PRESENT. Think of what presents signify at Christmas time? Why are they called “presents?” Because every day is a GIFT, and we should embrace each and every moment.
Lightbulb moment: Living in anything other than the present, the RIGHT NOW, is nothing more than a creation of our egotistical inner voices. Thoughts controlled by our Ego. THOUGHTS responsible for the reality we see, the reality we become to believe. THOUGHTS governing the ACTIONS we ultimately TAKE.
The result – “A LIFE WE WERE NEVER MEANT TO LIVE.”
I remind myself, we have two ears and one mouth, and still battle in listening, for the sake of answering.
Lightbulb moment: I CHOOSE to think of POSITIVE thoughts, for it is our THOUGHTS that DETERMINE our OUTCOMES!
I am now able to live the life I once DREAMT of.
Lightbulb moment: By adopting a more HUMBLE APPROACH, I place emphasis on AWARENESS and CONSCIOUSNESS, quick to identify my faults and to apologise for them as soon as they occur, always conscious of my feelings in the moment and how I react to them. I was later to identify, what this in-fact was doing, was developing my EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.
Lightbulb moment: In tough times, I remind myself, I will NEVER ATTAIN PERFECTION and therefore cut myself some slack, DON'T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF, a common mistake most of us make, “THIS TOO SHALL PASS”.
MIRACULOUS TRANSFORMATIONS have occurred. What used to be nagging and incessant thoughts for alcohol, have all but VANISHED. Career changes have materialised. PEACEFULNESS and KINDLINESS have returned. PATIENCE and TOLERANCE are no longer strangers.
You see, all this is possible. There is just one SECRET I have been eluding to?
- What is it that can remove an alcoholic's desire for his MANIFESTATION with alcohol?
- What is it that can REMOVE a persons' character defects?
- What TOOLS can I utilise to eradicate UNWANTED thoughts and desires?
- How do I ensure ONGOING PROGRESS towards success?
- How do I ensure things just seem to WORK OUT FOR ME?
- Why do I generally FIND PARKING right outside my chosen destination?
- Why do I NO LONGER WORRY about things?
How is it I have TRANQUILITY and PEACE-OF-MIND?
Queen Bee lightbulb: The answer my friends is the inclusion and positioning of a HIGHER POWER into your lives.
There some of you go into JUDGEMENTAL MODE……..this is not necessarily to do with religion, but MORE to do with SPIRITUALITY.
Please opt in to follow my ongoing Blog, whereby I will be discussing HOW and WHAT it entails to HEAL yourself and attain ANYTHING YOU DESIRE, by way of integrating a HIGHER POWER into your PRECIOUS LIVES.
IT TRULY WORKS!