What’s your pace like?

“If not now then when, if not you then who?”

“If you don’t succeed, try, try, and try again.”

In this 21st century, there is no shortage or lack of inspirational quotes and sentiments that aim to encourage our hearts and drive us to the next level. If you’re anything like me, I fall prey to this and many others time and time again.

Now you might be thinking, “Did he just use the word prey?” Yes, I did and here’s why.

On the surface, these short, concise phrases stir our blood and get us to push a bit more, but right now I want to ask a semi-rhetorical question: “Do these anecdotes cycle us through a hamster wheel of unsustainable effort?"

Let me share with you a personal story that shines a light on this. DISCLAIMER: I’m gonna be real.

I want to be an incredible dad in the eyes of my children. I believe I know what that requires, and so, that’s the bar I set for myself. For me to reach that bar, I think I need to:

• spend quality time with my kids a few times per week, which means doing and being what they want (key word) from me;
• I need to greet them with a sincere smile every morning;
• I need to want (key word) to come to their level and meet them where they are at;
• I need to express pure and honest delight and love towards them,
• and I need to do it all over again the next day.

This is what I perceive they want/need from me and as a result, I want it from myself.

But, here’s a typical morning: I wake up quiet, wanting a cup of coffee, and when the kids start waking up and enter ‘my’ space (as if it’s not theirs too) I think, “Aghhh, I want my space.”

I greet them with the weird looking smile-frown, you know the one I’m talking about, and I leave it at that. (I know I’m not getting the father of the year award—let’s just put that out right here ☺)

I start giving instructions for the morning, listing tasks, challenging how they talk to their siblings. Nine times out of ten, I ask my daughter to change out of her ridiculous outfit for school, and muster up the semi-happy toned voice saying, “Have a good day at school.”

“Shit, I did it again.”

I have personally let them down, myself, and likely my wife, Louise too.

Now, perhaps I am being hard on myself, and to a degree, that’s what this article is about.

As a father to three children, I am more or less constantly aware of my desire to be a great dad. Given my passion for excellence and belief in continual growth, I subscribe to many podcasts and listen to audio books as often as I can.

Day after day, I put myself through the boot camp of, “Be the best at whatever you do.” But here’s the hook, if every day I focus on where I am underperforming, I never see a medal, nor do I accept the pitiful metaphorical ribbon of “Good Participation”.

After these mornings, the voice in my head announces on the PA system, “David Regnier, please return to your podcasts and audiobooks. Paging David Regnier, please return to your podcasts and audiobooks.”

Just recently, though, the heavens opened up, and a word was given to me. It came from an old-time heavy and raspy-voiced life coach who said, “Many people overestimate what they can do in one year, and often underestimate what they can do in a decade.”

This instantly drew a line in the sand for me.

I do not let myself off the hook very easily (I don’t know if you noticed ☺). But, what I did not hear him saying is, “Don’t try to do things or be a lazy sloth,” but rather I heard, “Give yourself a bit of credit and grow in small bits often.”

This has become the voice of reason in my head as of late.

I already have the will to be a great dad; I believe that’s probably the cornerstone to the castle I am trying to build. Now, what I want to practice is doing small consistent actions to create a long lasting, sustainable pattern.

This is about pace.

Living into our biggest dreams for ourselves is a wonderful and honorable life decision, but as we have all noticed, there are seemingly countless days between where we are and where we want to be.

The only way, and I am confident about this, that we get there, wherever that is, is by reminding ourselves of our will and vision, celebrating each success as we achieve them, and using that as our reminder and momentum for tomorrow’s ascent.

Do these words resonate with you, or can you see how someone you know could benefit from them? Please share and subscribe.