Do you know anyone who is in an abusive relationship and refuses to tell anyone about it?

They try to hide it from family and friends pretending all is perfect in the marriage?

She worries about telling her parents it will upset them, won't tell their friends because they will laugh at them.

No I cant tell my friends none of them are married they will not understand, she thinks! 

On the morning after the beating, 
They even make excuses that no he he had too much to drink last night and thats why he beat me up, it was out of character for him to react that way in an argument!

He apologized and will not do it again!

She will just use make up to cover up the blue eye.

Oh and he was so good he even got me flowers the next day and got them delivered in the office!!!! The excuses just dont stop.

Why don't we speak up about abusive relationships?

The hiding

For a long time the woman being abused does not tell anyone what is going on, they suffer in silence.

Question is do they keep quiet because they think it will get better or he will stop abusing her? 

She also refuses to go for counselling and beleives the 12 year old son does not see or hear whats going on in the house.

Do they keep quiet because the world will laugh at them and see them as a failure in marriage or relationship.

Or they want to make things work against all odds?

The sisters reaction

Find out their sister is being abused but they try and talk her into working things out.

Relationships are not easy they say!!!

The first two years of marriage are the most difficult as both parties are beginning to understand each other!!!

The male relatives reaction

The brothers know their sister gets abused on a regular basis but say its none of their business and they cannot get involved.

Only once did your older brother actually confront him, but it got nowhere, nothing really changed.

He is not even scared of your father he continues beating you up!

The friends reaction

After an episode of abuse at a house party and getting the police involved, they will even help their friend pack her stuff and leave the guy all pumped up with energy.

No he his abusive and does not respect you how dare he beats you up in front of all your friends, its enough they say! She moves in with a friends until she finds her own place!

They will help her get an apartment get it furnished.

The parents will help financially with the furniture, and she will be excited and grateful for all the help.

Law and behold a few days later her husband will beg and plead with her and .....

Even before month end she will be back with her husband in their happy home!

The families

After one of the really really bad incidents where she wakes up in hospital blue and black, her father decides she is not going back to that house.

She complies and stays at home for a few days then goes back to the marital home!

It seems like a fruitless exercise, why do they even bother trying to rescue her. Only she can rescue herself. 

And it doesnt seem like she wants to make any changes anytime soon!

The conclusion

The person who tries to help and fail will be accused of meddling in other peoples affairs.

Only the person getting the abuse in the relationship can decide to walk away, no matter how hard you try as a third party to get them to leave, they will keep going back until they decide its over!

The sisters the friends will try to get her to leave but she will stay, even end up cutting off anyone who dares to comment about the toxic relationship.

I have seen this movie over and over with no end in sight! Love is not abusive!

What has been your experience?