"Change is Strange"
The word change has so many definitions, as it is both a noun and a verb and has a vast scope. I will leave it for you to look up which definition suites, as there are many.
When I think of change, the first feeling I get is a sense of mild trepidation as it goes against the norm or my comfort zone. Aren't we all just creatures of habit, I know I am. I change my clothes every day, but that again is habit and conditioning and anyway, if I wore the same clothes every day I'd begin to smell. I'm not talking about physical bodily changes like puberty, society changes, or weather, I'm talking about inner change.
I am talking about self-development or personal development or inner change, the biggest change of all. Call it psychological change, emotional change, cognitive change, what is in a name is immaterial, it's about making changes in your life, the importance of change and the massive benefits to us when we do. I'm not going to go into any sort of detail as what methods you should use to enable self-change, as there are literally thousands of programmes and guru's out there. You are best to do your own research and make your own choice.
We are conditioned from birth and our subconscious mind remembers absolutely everything so once we are in a routine or habit, in most cases everything we do is automatic and subconscious, we aren't even aware we are doing it. That is how we learned everything in life from walking, talking, swimming, riding a bike to driving a car.
Our subconscious minds are like super hard drives and store the whole lot. It's imprinted or hardwired into our minds. You might not ride a bike or swim for years, but the next time you do, you will know how. Swimming and bike riding are behaviors and if we can imprint those behaviors into our subconscious minds and keep them forever, then why can't positive thoughts and even feelings be imprinted? Who says they can't
We never stop learning or taking information, in fact as a species our hunger for information is insatiable and we never stop thinking, though most of our thoughts do happen automatically at a subconscious level. Our brain never stops growing, like any other muscle, the more it is used the more it develops "Neuro Plasticity". We have about 60,000 thoughts a day on average and of those only about 10% are conscious thoughts or are on our awareness. The hard drive that is our sub-conscious is constantly absorbing this info, even when we are not aware of this. Like a computer, our sub-conscious mind takes everything literally, it doesn't ask questions, it just does. It learns but doesn't rationalize, our conscious mind does that.
Why do you think its so hard to break a bad habit and create a good habit? We are hard-wired, so we have to re-programme our sub-conscious minds.
How do we do this? Through very hard work, and yes inner change our unhealthy habits, routines and behaviors are very hard to change or break. Firstly we have been made aware of our unhealthy habits, behaviors, and routines. As we are conditioned from birth, it is understandable how we can easily form habits
Resistance to change
I am a very impressionable person and at times even gullible. I like to see the good and positive in people, as I truly want to see everyone succeed, I get this from working with people in recovery. I also believe that although hard, everyone has to work for their needs and wants. There is no free ride in life. This is where people become very resistant, and rather than step out of their comfort zone, no matter how "uncomfortable" that may be, the fear of change can be greater than the possible rewards that inner change will bring.
I'll change if you change
This was both my mantra and metaphor for years. When I was drinking it wasn't me who had the problem, but everyone else and if my life wasn't working it was all your fault. Jesus parable "Take the log out of your eye, before you take the splinter out of mine" is apt for this.
We live in a blame society, pointing the finger is the norm and waiting for the other to change or apologize is also the norm. Just look at politics. In the addiction recovery world, making changes unconditionally is essential to stay in recovery. You have to take the first step before you are told or forced to.
What is in it for me?
What isn't in it for you!!. We are growth-seeking ever learning moving forward beings, so it is totally unnatural for us to stay put. We would never have survived as a species, had we just sat there, never changing. We need to change, it's in our genes so the best place to start is with ourselves. We are always changing anyway even if we are not aware of it.
I know that when I challenge my comfort -zone, I feel a lot better for it, I feel like I've achieved something, been productive and proactive. It is worth the hard work, which is only the initial inertia, as once you are in motion, it gets easier.
That is a good question, why make changes, when you can just keep being the same. If this is what you chose and if your life is working well for you, then carry on and I'm happy for you, but if you have read this far then you do realize that you do need to make changes to your self. No matter who you are, We all do.
What if it doesn't work
Tickety-boo hoo, when was anything meant to be perfect. "Progress-not-Perfection". But do you know what, if we never made mistakes, or if things never worked out for us, how would we learn? We learn from our experience and take stock of everything that hasn't worked for you in the past!! You are still here aren't you, you survived.
Take note of your mistakes, learn from them so as not to do them again. Mistakes are NOT failures, but corrections to do it right the next time. We do always learn from our mistakes, (unless you are in active addiction and full of denial.)
Fear of Unknown
Susan Jeffers wrote a great book "Feel the fear and do it anyway". I suggest you read it. We cannot grow unless we face our fears. We need to confront what makes us anxious as that is the greatest growth we can make in life. Eat that frog and get it out of the way, and everything else will be easier.
My "10 Steps" routine
10 steps to inner change. Do you know what, there are no set steps to find or develop inner change, as we are all unique human beings so one rule cannot apply to all? (To be fair I have included links at the bottom of this post on different Steps to self-development/growth)
What you do each day is important, and it is equally important to find a balance and keep it consistent. I'm no self-help guru, but what I do does work for me so I will share my technique or daily routine.
- I get up at 5:15 in the morning (5-4-3-2-1-0, Thank You Mel Robbins)
- Drink a pint of cold water- get the body going
- I meditate for about 20 minutes
- Then I either write an article for my blog or post one or do an online course (SEO at present).
- I do a daily affirmation which I post on my website.
- At 6:50 I go upstairs say good morning to my wife, get dressed, say good morning to my kids, then I go downstairs and get breakfast ready for the family, whilst my wife gets the boys sorted. We eat do our other bits and then all head out to school/work.
- 8:20. I drop the kids off to the school bus and then start the commute to work, about 25 minutes. I listen to an audible self-help book or listen to Blinkest posts.
- I get to work at about 9 (ish) do my days work and finish normally at 5 (Once a week I work from 1 to 9 pm) I am an addiction counselor by profession, but work mainly with aftercare.
- At 5 (ish) I head home, If it's on, I head to a spinning class (normally about twice a week), I have my dinner, then spend time with the kids and we put them to bed.
- I will then watch a webinar, or work on my business until about 10pm. I then write up my Journal, do my affirmations, meditate and go to bed.
It might sound boring or tedious to some, but as I am setting up an online business, it is necessary. It was hard to start, but as I keep it consistent, it does get easier. I find I am more focused in the morning than at any other time of the day.
I take time out at the weekends to do things with my family, as that is what I enjoy and is a vital part or all our development. My kids won't be kids forever, so its best to make time for them now and not later. I have an article on that.
To Sum Up
Now, talking about changes and challenging yourself, I invite you to take a look at this:
The internet is here and it is the future, so there is no point in being left behind or putting my head in the sand, so I am going to share with you what I've done, take it or leave it
Are You ready to try it out Yourself?
I have 2 amazing mentors, Stuart and Jay, who created a company called Six Figure Mentors (SFM), and together we will teach you the A to Z on how to start up an attraction marketing business from scratch and propel you (at your own pace) into the World of Online Entrepreneurs.
We have a FREE 7 day, no obligation, Video Series explaining exactly who SFM/DEA are, what the do & what they offer. It is well worth the watch.
Are You interested in finding out more? or are happy with your current existence.