I talked to my sister yesterday and we talked about her amazing journey in regards of money and financial freedom. I realized that such a story should be shared and I asked if I had her permission to share that story. She said "That would be an honor. If I can learn to do this, anyone can."
So it is safe to say that my sister Belinda today has a very good relationship when it comes to money. She has more or less financial freedom. She can have or do anything she wants to and money is no longer an issue.
But for you to understand how much this means to her you need to understand where she is coming from.
Belinda divorced her husband 11 years ago. Together they had a 8 year old girl. It was a tough breakup for Belinda. She suffered a lot.
She suffered the loss of a marriage til death do us part.
She was ripped of hear dream of ever lasting marriage and most of all, she lost her self empowerment.
Despite her better knowing, she got pregnant with her exhusband and 9 months later she gave birth to her second girl. By the time Julia was born, Belinda cut all ties to the exhusband and got custody of both of the girls.
Her husband was the love of her life. They met when she was 16. He was the world to her. 8 years older, he was also the father figure she never had and she gladly left all the financial papers to him.
By doing so, she knew very little about how to handle money once she was on her own with the children.
As a sister, I saw her struggling to make ends meet, how she would chase offers from store to store, cut cupons and spend a whole day buying from 10 different stores so that she would get the best deal. Her ability to be inventive never stoped to amaze me, and I never understood how she could make fabolous dinners from empty cabinets. I was so proud of her.
We talked everyday on the phone about absolutely everything and I really loved our conversations. After about 5 years I started to notice a pattern in Belinda. I never really payed any attention to it before but suddently I realized that everytime the topic of money came up, she would always say how poor she was and that it was hard for her to get money. It was safe to say that I never heard her talk about money in a positive way.
I tried to change the subject or say something postive about money but i honestly don´t think she heard me. After endles tries I one day lost my temper.
MAKE A CHANGE
"Belinda!" I said. "It is time for you to make a change"!!!
And for half an hour I described how I experienced her relationship to money and what it did to her, but also what it did to me everytime the subject came up.
Do you know anything about the Law of Attraction?
Law of attraction teaches you that you can decide what end of the stick of a subject that you want to activate. Every subject have two sides: The having of it or the lack of it. It does´nt matter if we talk about love, money, time, health, work or any other subject. The end that you decide to activate will give you exactly what you are asking for. For better or or worse. If you say that money never comes to you or that it is hard to get money, you are getting exactly what you are asking for.
That was the first time that we talked on the phone and Belinda for the longest time, did not say anything on the phone. I could HEAR how she was precessing what I just said, how her mind was totally absorbed by this new insight and how she was struggling with her feelings of how to respond to this. My heart was beathing sooooo fast. We have never had any conflict and I had NO idea how she would react.
Would she rage?
Scream at me?
Hang up on me?
Would she be sour?
But I have the best sister in the world!!! Quietly she said:
"You are right. I have never thought about it or payed any attention to my relationship to money! Tell me what to do!
So together we made up a few simple rules:
1. First we put together an affimationboard with quotes that resonated with her about money. She kept it somewhere where she could see it often.
2. Second we found a few subjects that would bring her in a good mood when she was down. Everytime she started to think about money and that brought stress or anxiety on her, she knew that she at anytime could bring her self to a better feeling place by thinking of something that made her happy.
3. We also decided that we would only talk about money in a positive way in our conversations and really be aware of how we phrase our thoughts and sentences.
4. In a process like this we often forget that we are human beings and that we are in no way perfect. We need to wine and be in a bad mood, or be dissapointed, mad, sad and all the other feelings that we have as humans. So we decided to use the 17 Second Rule. If we had a lot bottled up inside of us we could just rage for 17 seconds. Just to get it out of our system. It was very helpful for Belinda in the beginning. Somethimes she would use the 17 Second Rule several times in one day :). Now....not so much :)
5. The most important part of this practise is that not to beat us up when we fail. Belinda had days when she failed completely. Her task days like this, was to acknowledge the hours and somethimes minutes, when she did good. If she was able to think positive about money for 5 minutes one day...well...thats what she will pad her self on the shoulder for.
This is what Belinda did to be financial independent. Things happened in her life that she can not explaine. She opened the door. She took the chances but her MINDSET had to change.
Why don´t you take a chance. Try it out and see what happends.
Good Luck with this process :)