The vacation in USA opened my eys.
Even though I am a never ending student when it comes to personal development, even though I am a coach and worked at the Swedish Social Insurance system and has met thousands of people that has hit rock bottom, I never saw it comming. Even as a coach and a meditationleader I did NOT see this comming!
The URGE to make a difference! To want something MORE in life. I did´t really know...and still i knew. Does it make sence????
I started to talk to my best friends, to my mentor and the meditationgroup I was hosting and also the meditationgroup I attended myself.
So all of the fall of 2013 was a blurr! I hardly slept. As soon as closed my eyes my brain was on fire, trying to find a solution. Thousands of pictures in my head. Thousands of opportunities! t was all I thought about.
I think this is one of the first times in my career that I actually took a good look at my job. Made up pros and cons for staying or going. It was difficult because the only thing i wanted to do was to look for faults in my work. Dear friends: I DO NOT recommend you to go down that path! It was a drag to get up in the morning. Should I stay or should I go!?
I knew I had to leave that work and I find a way out. I decided to go back to school. It was not what I really wanted to do but I was desperate to find a way. As soon as I left that job I just collapsed! I mean...for real...collapsed
I cried day out and day in for two months, not able to get out of bed. I had been under stress much longer than I wanted to admit. Somehow I think that I made it this far just because I had the skill to see things from a positive side and had the tools to controll the stress I was under. But when you no longer have to fight the stress, it will fall over you like a ton of bricks. I tell you, I was not a pretty sight for anyone! Not to mention how scared my family was. They had never seen this Britta before.
It took med 8 months to get back on track again. It really should not be possible to do that after hitting the rock bottom. I knew for a fact that people where sick and burned out for decades and I knew that was NOT going to happen to me. So I decided to use every tool in my toolbox in order to make it back. A lot of work. A lot of mental and fysikal work. I am so thankful that I had the knowledge and the skill to work it out. If you are interested, I will tell you this story in a later blogpost. But for now I just want you to know that I KNOW you can get back on track again.
It was during this period I started to surch on the Internet for different opportunities. Remeber...I still did´nt really know what I was looking for or what I wanted with my life. I just knew I wanted a change
Do you want to know what I found? Stay tuned for my next blogpost!