How to choose good friends. Reality checks!

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When I was young I was taught to be sociable, to love people, welcome people and be a contributor to the community through relationships. I was taught about people, some people are good and some are bad and most especially I was warned about the bad man.

The bad man was the one who came to take me or my innocence away. We do have those up to today. It was easy to keep us at bay whenever we misbehaved because at that point they would have to go consult this bad man and then your fate would be decided.

Funny thing is that this bad man was quite so real to all of us. I know some of us to have a vivid memory of him? It? Her? I don't know. I never got to meet it. LOL

Its okay, I won't refer to him again for some of us. Anyway, what I want to talk about today is friendship. For some of us we can easily recall these boogeymen but how about this, do you remember being taught how to choose good friends?

I mean you know how to see the boogeyman, but how do you know the people who are meaning well in life for ya?

Whenever I used to say this person is my friend when I came back from school. I used to get some questions from my dad?

  1. What position does he get in class?: wow, I knew this was the number one question. At times I knew better than to tell him I had friends who are on top of the class. I would get a lecture on that. How come this? How come that? then how is this person your friend? Yeah..!!
  2. Who are the parents of this person?: this one used to beat me, why do you need to know who the parents are? I used to wonder, then he would ask if I knew the parent's name or have gone to their home. Wow.
  3. What do you have in common?: I mean come on dad? Can't we just be friends? The latest I heard from him on this topic, he looked at one of my long-term friends and told me. " I don't see where you two meet, how do you relate?" I served him the same question about one of his friends and he had no clear answer. LOL

I may not have got it then but I know better now. Obviously, my father knew something I did not know then and he was trying to hint at it. I have had some experiences about friendship that now I know better I can clearly interpret what my father was trying to say.

  1. What value does the person bring to your life?: by asking me which position this person was, my dad was trying to tell me real friends bring value to your life. If your friend is driving a Mercedes and you are on foot then there is a problem. Birds of the same feather flock together is what we use to say in high school.
  2. What values does this person hold?: he would asses this by asking about the parents of this person. Who were they in society and what do they stand for. Obviously, if they are the ones causing chaos, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
  3. Are you walking the same path?: my dad tried to teach me early that two people can't be walking different paths and be friends. One of them will lose their way. Its easier to make friends with a person in the same class or ahead of you where you intend to go. But people behind you will most likely bring you backward.
  4. He also asked me if we eat together?: is there mutuality in this relationship? I have had some experiences where people have lopsided relationships. One likes/ or loves the other more than the other. It is not developmental, if we both love each other we can go far.
  5. Friendship is about a vision: by asking me about class if the person who was my friend was better than me. I was in hot soup. If they were worse, I was in for another lecture, because there should be a common goal in friendships. Let it be life, or something else but lack of a goal makes the friendship stale.

Those are some of the valuable lessons I learned from my father. That friendship is something worth cherishing and very valuable. We should be able to add value to each other's lives.

I have made a group of friends, who are tireless towards seeing that I achieve what I want to achieve. Financial independence. You may be skeptical about who they are because these days people want to take and never give back.

I was just talking to someone I considered a friend. I was trying to tell him about this opportunity on how he can grow and be better. He made it seem like I was trying to get money out of his being part. I was hurt because I thought he knew what I stand for, or that he trusted me enough to know I wouldn't mislead him. It was amazing.

This is the advice I gave him. He should try the community and if they are not for him then he should just let it go since he won't lose a thing.

And I will leave the same advice for you. Click the banner below, if you don't like what you see then its fine.

Thanks for reading!

Cheers.

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