I've read many books on success by very succesful people, I,ve attended many seminars on success by people like Tony Robbins, and heard countless success stories and they all have in essence the same message for achieving success. There is an easy to define reason why some people will achieve their goals and some will not. It basically all boils down to your mindsets and beliefs, your habits, and accepting certain truths. I will be diving deeper into the mindsets and habits of success in future articles but for now lets discuss what they are. I am going to be pretty straight forward here because for me, it took hearing these truths in no uncertain terms to actually get me to change. I had to really let go of some unhealthy beliefs that were holding me back, but once I did my life changed in an instant! Yours will to. I promise! I am still on my own exciting journey of personal development but I really want to share what I have learned so far. I want to help you really embrace the truth about success, and what it takes to achieve it. I
One totally crazy thing about human beings I've learned is that we are actually not wired for high achievment. Our minds do not want to engage any more than they have to. Your prefrontal cortex is the part of your brain that controls whether or not you take any conscious action. As complicated as the brain is, it really only has 2 modes. One is autopilot and the other is drive. In order to create change you need the drive mode, or in other words, your prefrontal cortex.
The problem is, your brain prefers autopilot. In fact it loves it. Think about it. You wake up every day at the same time, you hit the snooze, you get up, you go to the bathroom, look at your phone, maybe take a shower, you brush your teeth, you have one of 3 different breakfasts, you go to work, you see the same people, do the same work, maybe check facebook, come home and start your nightly routine, finally go to bed, and repeat the process the next day and the day after etc.. I think you get my point. The autopilot mode is actually the default.
So if you really want to make a change you need to put your brain in drive. The problem is this takes a lot more energy, and your brain does not want to use anymore energy than it has to. Your brain is only concerned about survival. Your DNA doesn't give a damm about your goals and dreams. The longer your brain stays in autopilot, the harder it is to engage into drive. Like the old saying goes."what you don't use you lose" The really cool thing though, is you can program your brain to engage much easier by consistently taking action.
Life is tough... Realize that life for the most part is tough, and can feel incredibly unfair. Unless you were born in a situation where you have a lot of opportunity because your parents had money or you were raised well with healthy mindsets, realize everything is just going to be tough. What choice do you have? Where is the other choice? Lets stop and think about this. If your born into success, lucky for you. Just follow the beaten path that your parents laid out for you and you can probably be succesful. But what happens if you weren't born into success? Pretty much you better prepare yourself to work really really hard and try to enjoy it as you do. Thats pretty much the decision, or you can just accept being a failure. Those are basically your options. Accept that life tends to be tough. Just accept it. But from there, be appreciative of what you do have going for you because you probably have a lot more going for you than you realize. Be appreciative for that, and maybe you can build a better future for you, your kids, and your grandkids, if you actually contribute to that. If you think you have it bad, there are people who have it way worse.
For most people, if I'm going to be brutally honest, their life is going to be garbage. You really need to process this. Just look around you at the people you pass on a daily basis at the supermarket, on the train, or wherever you go. They look like their face has been ground into the dirt. Their dreams have been flushed down the toilet years ago. They have settled for a job that they have no passion for and no real connection to. They don't have any real goals or anything especially compelling to look forward to. In fact, most people spend hours every day consuming media, being bored, and just waiting for something to happen. They spend their days as if they are going to live forever. They live for the so called weekend so they can numb themselves from reality with food, alcohol, or entertainment. Thats pretty much their life.
By the way, I am not saying this is true for everyone. There are many people that are genuinely happy and fulfilled, but for many others, that is simply just not the case. I know it wasn't for me. So, if that is not you, then at a certain point you have to ask yourself, do I accept this or do I not accept this?
Ok, so basically your at a point now where life is tough and incredibly unfair, but here is the flip side. The flip side is there is more opportunity now then ever before. We actually live in a moment of time that you truly could do anything you wanted. Anything you want to learn is at your disposal thanks to the internet. Just think of what you are doing right now by reading this article. So if you want to get ahead and get out of your rut, you are going to have to make some real mindset and lifestyle changes.
Failure mindset vs. success mindset... If you have still not achieved what you consider to be success, chances are you are stuck in a failure mindset. Shift from a failure mindset to a success mindet. What does that mean? It means focusing on the positive. Realize there are more opportunities than ever before. Thanks to the internet we all have the ability to convey any message we want to the world. Just imagine, you are reading this article right now, hopefully getting value from it, and we have never even met. That is the power of the internet. This is just 1 example that if you train your mind to look for the opportunities and not focus on the lack you will find them. Ask yourself, what did I do well today? Enjoy the process. Actually enjoy the taking action part of what your doing, and let go of a need for an outcome. Understand that success is a slow process, so embrace it. Life is a journey not a destination. The fun here is in the process. The fun is getting a little bit better and a little bit better. Realize that your in this for life. Success is not a sprint it is a marathon.
It is not only important to understand this but it is important to prepare for it both mentally and physically. Keep moving forward. Success comes from the little tiny decisions and accomplishments you make on a daily basis, and when you look back in say 3 to 6 months you will acually see the change. Become addicted to that! Every decision that you make today has a ripple effect that can last for weeks or months.
Success is also a quiet process. It is a quiet daily set of tasks, so find enjoyment in those little tasks. Success is not this big ra ra speech, its not about doing this "one big thing" and something great happens. Usually when we witness others success we are just witnessing the culmination of all the little quiet daily set of tasks and mini accomplishments that lead to the big end result.
Time management... Be willing to manage your time very effectively. Become very aware of the time. Every moment that passes by if you are on a life mission, your losing time. This is not up for debate. Your losing time. So don't waste your time complaining, it is a terrible idea! You should be afraid to violate your time. View your time as the most valuable resource you have. Why, because it is..
Build momentum... If your not making an effort to grow by challenging yourself a little everyday and expanding your knowledge than you are actually falling behind. There really is no such thing as stagnation. As if stagnating isn't bad enough, if you are not growing and expanding, you are going down. Most people in my opinion are going down. They are in what you might call a downward spiral. They have been eating unhealthy food a long time, and are just living in their comfort zone. Their not learning new skills or mindsets, their not challenging themselves, or pushing through obstacles. Going out and accomplishing things doesn't seem real anymore so they don't see the point. Basically they are in a cycle of scarcity going down and down and down.
What this basically leads to is a fragility in who they are. They get addicted to stimulation or unconsciousness. Things like complaining, gossip or facebook, or things like pizza or alcohol. If you look at something like eating clean food, meditation or accomplishments, its an upward spiral because the more clean food you eat, the more will power you have, which gives you more willpowewr to eat clean food, and then the more willpower you have. Or say with accomplishment, the more you accomplish, the more positive references you get that you can produce a positive result, the more likely you will buy in, and the more you are willing to go all out to push for a long term goal. So what you have to ask yourself is, are you in a upward spiral or a downward spiral? If you are in a downward spiral, here is what I would suggest.
Completely cut out anything that doesn,t support you. Any type of food that doesn't support you, DON'T eat it! Any type of influence like television, or mindless distractions on the internet, DON'T look at it. I am not saying you should never indulge in these activities, but realize they are not leading you to where you want to go. We are all influenced by our social environment. Be very controlling of what you choose to allow into your headspace. You have to be aware of whats getting in. If it is not supporting you, cut it off!
Make small progress. Realize its always going to be small at first. The cool part about this is after a while it starts to intensify and becomes exponential, and you just go more up and up. Realize that you are made of habits. Your life situation here today is basically determined by all of your habits. So if you want something more, you can't let these habits just form unconsciously on their own. Take some time to reflect on your life. Look at where your at and ask yourself very honestly, how did I get here? Its important not to judge yourself during this process. Just take an objective approach, but be realistic. Ask yourself, what are all the new habits I'm going to need in order to achieve my goals and just focus on those.
End Procrastination and just get started... Most of us wait until we are "in the mood" to start something and we find all sorts of excuses to not start. It always feels like tomorrow is a better option. The truth is... if you don't do it now, it will probably never happen. Realize that as I mentioned earlier, your brain will not engage any more than it has to. So you have to make it engage by getting started. This is critical by the way. Once you take action toward a project you will find that somewhere along the line your brain will engage and you will find your groove. The mistake a lot of us make is waiting to feel motivated or inspired. Instead, just get started and the motivation will follow. One question I always ask myself is "If I can't make myself go do this today, how am I going to live my dreams?" I found for me if I miss one day I'll miss almost every day.
Finish what you start... Whatever task you take on make sure you can finish it. So start small. Prove to yourself that you can finish what you start. Eventually you will take on the identity of someone that gets stuff done and does what they say they are going to do.
So to mentally prepare, this really means sitting down after reading this blog and ask yourself, these questions. Are you really willing to commit to this for the rest of your life? Is this the path that your going to walk until the day you die, because this is not the easy path. The easier path would be to do nothing and remain in your comfort zone. Commiting to your success means holding yourself to a higher standard and continuously putting yourself in situations that make you grow. Putting yourself in situations that are not necesarilly comfortable. You may have to go through humiliation, or tolerate a lot of social pressure. Friends and family telling you you cant do it etc.. Your going to have to let go of your ego and really put yourself on the line. Your going to have to go through failure and posissibly rejection.
Be willing to make some sacrafices. Anyone or anything that is leading you further away from your dreams has to go. If you have to tell that person that you can't go drinking with him or her anymore, so be it, because thats not what you value. Any person that is meant to be with you on your journey would choose that higher road with you. Yes, a tougher road, but a much more rewarding one!
You really have to ask yourself am I willing to go through all the turmoil I am about to encounter. To what degree are you prepared to dedicate yourself to this path? How bad do you really want it? On the journey toward success, transformation is inevitable and is I think, the biggest reward of the whole process. Ultimately where I have found hapiness is in becoming the person I really want to be.
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"Success is not guaranteed in this life. In fact, failure is. Its overcoming failure that is the success"