When I came to Bali a month ago, I was destroyed, emotionally. I had just left Ireland where I had spent the last 6 months trying to build a life there, while starting a relationship that happened to be pretty toxic.
The decision to leave was made within 4 days as he was ignoring me again and I first went to my parents. That was nothing but a good idea as it just ended up being another nightmare.
However, a month later I now am thankful for all what happened as it has help me grow so much. It helped me realise that the challenges we face are here to help us become who we need to become in order to achieve our goals. As painful as this can be.
Self-love is where it all starts
It’s only when I spent this week at my parents, when I saw that they were not able to make it easy for me even though I had warn them that I wasn’t going to be talkative nor feeling good that I started to ask myself why would they do that.
So I started researching. I found that having grown up in a conditional love environment ends up with the belief that no one can love you if you’re being yourself. And that was spot on for me. That was also the reason why I would attract toxic and negative people in my life, especially in my relationships because I would fall for these type of guys, very controlling as this is what, unconsciously, was familiar to me and therefore, it felt safe.
Once I was aware of this, I was able to start taking action to overcome this. It’s what I did by booking my flight, direction Bali. I chose Bali because I had no idea where to go and I just felt like I had to go there. So I listened to that intuition. And decided to go there to heal and build my online business.
Put your own boundaries
That’s the other thing I learned. Starting with my family. It became crystal clear that I really had to put boundaries and put some distance with them. Until I was strong enough to handle their negativity and fears. This will take time and I’m fine with this now.
The changes I am doing in my life are for me first and no one else. And anyone who makes it more difficult for me cannot be in my way. I know it sounds harsh but I spent twenty years trying to live a life on other people’s terms now I’m doing it on my terms. And that’s a non-negotiable.
Surrounding yourself with the right people
Which leads to this. It took me some time to understand it fully.
I was aware that your surrounding is crucial, especially when you change everything in your life. Most likely the people that you’re surrounded by are not going to understand the changes you want to make. It’s going to scare them and they’ll put their limitations on you. You want to avoid that.
This is why putting your own boundaries is crucial. It’s also where it’s time for you to consider surrounding yourself with people who understand what you’re doing or want to do. With people who are in the same boat as you are. With people that will support you when you feel down. Some of your friends will be these people. Because they will stay by your side and be supportive even if they don’t get it. But most of them, may not stick around. And that’s fine. It doesn’t mean it’s forever, it means that for now, they will not be the people you spend time with or share your life with.
And follow your intuition
I have been pretty much on my own since a year on this journey of trying to start my own business. When I arrived in Bali (talking about Law of Attraction!) I signed up for the system I was going to use to build my digital business with. What I didn’t know was that with this, I was going to join this amazing community. Within a few weeks, I found and met people that are supportive, true and who push you into being yourself and nothing else.
This is priceless to me. And I know it’s a huge part of why I was able to grow so much and so quickly these past weeks.
All these are reasons why I am thankful for having met him, for having been through all this. Thanks to him, I’ve been able to become stronger, to love myself and to become this person I needed to become in order to achieve what I want to do in my business. It felt like my life was falling apart. But in the end, it was only the beginning of my new life, the life I truly want to live.
PS: if you want to check out the system I’m using and join also the community, click here so you can watch these 4 Videos that will give you a pretty good idea of what you can do. It's free, and worst case you will have wasted a few minutes of your life. But best case scenario, you may find something that will help you change your life, like it did for me.