It´s very easy to think about sexual harassment and violence as physical violence. But I think that #metoo is more than that. We see a lot of women who tells their story, and it is about how men take their right to touch a womans body, or show their penis, or just say something about the breasts. If I should write down all the varietys here, to assault a woman, the blogpost would be looong. In the worst cases they also force themselves to sex.
But now I would like to talk a little about the silent violence. The Rule/ Suppression techniques. In swedish Härskartekniker. I hope the translation is right!
When a woman says something, and no man is listening. When the workers turns to a man instead of the female boss. I say that we must also go against this teqniques. And not just when they are used to rule a woman. It could also be other parts of the society. Immigrants, coloured, and different marginalized parts of the population.
Are you aware of the teqniques? Do you see them when somebody uses it on you?
Making invisible Marginalize and ignoring
When you speak the others doesn´t listen, they rustling with papers. Someone can take your idea and make it his.
Ridicule to make someones arguments or his person to look ridicule or unimportant
A person says somehting that takes focus from the important message you have. It can be that you sound like a character in a fun tv-serie, or something about your clothes or way to speak.
Withhold information exclude you from information.
It can be information, time for a meeting that is important for you, or decisions that doesn´t reach you. Or the decision is already made in a informal meeting with just a few parts.
Double bind you get two choices, and get punished no matter what you choose.
If you do the work thoroghly, and get complaints for being slow. Or to do it faster, and get complaints for being sloppy.
Or for a man: To be guilty for not taking care for the children, but is seen unmanly if you are at home with them.
Or for a woman: You are home with the children instead of a evening meeting, and is called dishonest, but if you go to the meeting you are called a bad mom.
Shame and blame to make one feel like its their fault to have got to the situation.
Often in combination with ridicule and double bind.
You are not informed of the meeting, and is told that you should find the information yourself.
To be critizised for not following informal rules, that you aren´t informed of, and maybe also made up in the moment.
To critisize a victim of rape, for the clothing, or for being to drunk instead of blame the perpetrator
To comment someone in a not relevant situation
Force or threat of force.
To threaten one by the physical strenght.
"If you do that, I can smash your face"
So, I think we also have to start here. How we treat one another. And react when someone uses a suppression technique to a collegue or a friend. And try to learn to answer up when a technique is used agains yourself. There is ways, and the management and the leadership must get rid of this teqniques. If the management uses silence force, then the staff also can use it. Then at the company party, it probably also is okey to be sexual abusive. And to blame the alcohol.
In order to strengthen women, I think it is very valuable, that in Sweden women don´t have to stay at home with the children. Both the parents is working and also home with the children. Of course also in Sweden we have a lot of #metoo stories, but a self dependent woman is a start.
That is also why I like Online Business. There is a lot of women that can start and have an Online Business, and that is perfect if you want to work from home.
A self dependent woman with her own money and strength is one step forward. And strong women should raise their children to Not abuse and to KICK ASS, if someone tries to abuse them. And by Kick ass, I mean (which I tell my daughter) a very hard kick between the legs or a very hard punch in solar plexus if someone is trying.
Spread the word, and if you are interested in education in Online Business, learning and earning at the same time, then click down below for more information! It has helped me to a different and more free life, which I LOVE.
So from Sweden, a big love to Tarana Burke who started #metoo, and to all you out there!