I've heard it said many times. "Nice guys finish last."
People instantly go on the defence and say it's a lot of rubbish and the quote was made up by a "bad guy" who takes pleasure in defeating the "nice guy".
But what if we take the bad guy out of the equation and compare the nice guy with the good guy.
We start to delve into what really makes up the two types and see why the saying holds a lot of truth.
The problem with Mr Nice Guy
Let's start with a quick comparison.
A nice guy will say what you want to hear, a good guy will tell you what you need to hear.
Basically a nice guy is worried about all the superficial things in life. How he looks to others and never speaking his mind in case others don't agree. His only concerns are with appearance and etiquette in order to impress.
His motivation is generally with a self interest. He's concerned only with what he can get out of a relationship or situation.
Let's look at his list of traits:
- Doesn't like to say "no".
- Constantly seeks approval.
- Doesn't stand up for the things he believes in case someone doesn't like him.
- Does something nice and expects something in return.
- Changes himself or his beliefs to please others.
- Blames anything or anyone but himself for where he may have gone wrong in life.
- Doesn't apologise even when wrong for fear of looking weak.
- Will make promises he can't keep just to look good.
Why we should all be Mr Good Guy
Good guys know that not everybody is going to love them. They're ok with that as they have trust in themselves and their values.
They know they are making a difference to this world in a positive way even if nobody knows it yet.
Their main concern is their character and morality.
His traits include:
- Won't be talked into anything he doesn't feel is right
- Wants to make changes for the greater good.
- Has confidence but not arrogance.
- Isn't overbearing.
- Genuinely wants to help people without receiving anything in return.
- Speaks his mind.
- Doesn't need to please everyone.
- Takes responsibility for his life and his situation and takes action.
- Will have your back when the bad times arrive.
Are you a Good Guy?
Some people confuse certain traits.
Confidence is about an inner belief in your values. It's about being comfortable with who you are, not believing you are better than anyone else. It takes confidence to be vulnerable and show this to people. It takes confidence to show someone real love and care.
Speaking your mind isn't about putting others down with your views. It's about understanding and respecting somebody elses point of view even if you don't agree with them.
A good guy will always treat people with respect, but won't say things just to please people.
For the nice guys out there. You can become a good guy. It's just about looking at the world from a different perspective. You have it inside you already, don't hide it. People will love you. The ones that don't, well that's their problem not yours.
So go out, put some positivity into this world, respect everyone and remember it's what you give to this world that counts.
For the good guys out there. Keep being good!
Believe in yourself.