Like I've said before, it's very important to laugh, and even more so, to laugh out loud. So here are some more jokes for your amusement.
POLICE OFFICER: Your tail-light is broken, your tyres need to be changed, and your bumper is hanging down. That will be 300 dollars.
DRIVER: Ok, go ahead. They want twice as much as that at the garage.
A man asks a farmer near a field, "Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field, instead of going around it? You see, I need to get the 4:23 train."
The farmer says, "Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you'll even get the 4:11."
Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?
My name is Paul.
My dog use to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
Sleep with an open window tonight!
1400 mosquitos liked that. 420 mosquitos commented on it. 210 mosquitos shared this. 1 mosquito invited for the event. 2800 mosquitos will be attending the event.
A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: "My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!"
Psychiatrist: "Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part."
A wife complains to her husband: "Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can't you do the same?"
The husband: "Are you mad? I barely know that woman!"
Men in 1845: I just killed a buffalo
Men in 1952: I just fixed the roof
Men in 2017: I just shaved my legs
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.
So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, dumbo!"
So I corrected myself, "Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
That's about as far as I remember.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, THINK BIG, AND FOLLOW YOUR HEART
Thank you for reading!