Teaching him to love you your way
Having a happy and fulfilling relationship really makes the biggest difference to your life. Who you chose as your partner is vital to your future happiness and success. There’s a lot to a happy relationship but like anything, knowing some basic key triggers that go a long can take a lot less effort and make your partner swoon (swooning men haha).
So why not make your relationship easier by Teaching him to love you your way… and doing it back of course.
One of the most important basics is to learn how you both show “I love you”.
What are your love languages?
“The Five Love Languages” is an awesome book written by Dr Gary Chapman. He believes everyone has a primary and one or two secondary love languages. All of these are meant to be genuine and heartfelt and not sexual when given. They are:
- Words of Affirmation – not flattery but rather real appreciation in compliments
- Acts of Service – Saying I love you by bringing him a cold drink on a hot day or doing something to help
- Receive Gifts – Actual thoughtful gifts, not gold digger kind of stuff
- Quality Time – Just being together and doing something
- Physical Touch – Not sexual but more like affection
You can find out what your love language is by taking his test here. I got my boyfriend to do it when we first met and it’s pretty interesting (we both topped in Physical Touch which makes us a pair of cuddle bunnies).
You can use this tool to let your partner know what you really like to receive and find out what he likes too. Why bother giving him heaps of gifts if he’s a quality time kind of guy?
His Needs Her Needs
Here is another good book which was written a while ago but still relevant to couples now. Written by Willard F. Harley Jr, “His Needs Her Needs” says that we all have ten needs but when surveyed, the top five of men were the opposite of the top five of women.
So for the men they are:
- Sexual Fulfillment (Big Surprise)
- Recreational Companionship
- An Attractive Spouse
- Domestic Support (A quiet house to come home to)
So those aren’t a big surprise. For women:
- Affection (or romance)
- Honesty and Openness
- Financial Security
- Family Support (Be a good dad)
Now remember, we are all different so these might be switched up. It’s a good guide to work with anyways. The book is really great if you can get past the constant dooms day “Do this or they will have an affair” that goes on and on.
The point is….
I’ve already been putting this information in practice since I met my boyfriend a year ago. I perform a lot of acts of service to show love which he appreciates but that’s not how he needs to hear it so I have to switch it up. Likewise he knows that I’m saying “I love you” in my way and he gives me a credit and it works the other way too.
Communication is the key and I found these two books really helpful, because after sitting and talking to my fella about all of this I know that if I dress up in my little black dress when he comes over at night, watch some tv with him and give him a tap on the butt he’s pretty content. In turn he showers me with genuine heartfelt compliments, lots of cuddles and a tap on the butt back.
Everyone is happy because we communicated and it didn’t take that much effort on either part and we are both genuinely grateful. Less is always more so make life easier on yourself and work out what each other’s buttons are and just keep working them.
Give it a go and tell me how it works out for you!
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