Dr. Godman, a scientist in marriage, at the University of Washington, says he can tell with in 3 minutes not only if you will stay married but for how long! Pretty intimidating it sounds! However, with these distinqutions set below, you have the ability to change your communitcation technique so that you can determine how long you choose to be married! See my goal was to have an extra-ordinary marriage so I researched the best and then taught what they taught so that I live my dream.
Ok, imagine salt is little tiny pieces of paper, as Dr. Godman likes to say, and they have positive sayings on them. "thanks for taking that out the garbage." "oh you're home early, with a smile." Everyday little comments that are kind & life giving. And pepper is a all the negaitive sayings, "why did you do that!?" Why are you home early!" I thought I asked you to vaccuum!" As you can imagine, marriages throwing only pepper only make it 1.8 years, Godman says. The marriages that sprinkle both, salt & pepper, last 5 years and the marriages that don't sprinkle any last 16 years. Not enough to end the marriage earlier but not enough joy to keep it going. These are marriages the commnuty is most surprised about! Others don't understand what goes on day to day in a marriage so they have not idea. So don't ever judge another marriage. Only be bevoted to your own. While supportive to friends marriages.
So its your choice. You have more distinquitions now on how to activily choose to have an extr ordinary marriage. oh one last thing. We are all human, and we all sprinkle pepper here and there, it only counts if you don't appalogige with in 3 minutes. Which mean acknowledging what and how you said something. In our home we call this being life giving or death dealing. And we call each other on it so that we can all live authenticaly. Leave the salt shaker out if you need reminders. We all need alittle salt everyday don't forget to do your part.
PS Living your dream starts with adding salt to your thoughts too!