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"Are we there yet, are we there yet?".
I'm sure we've all heard this one, if it's not from one of your own kids, you've seen it on TV.
Yes, kids are impatient and get bored, but that's just kids, or is it?
Those kids grow up and we are now those kids, now tell me, even though you might not say it, do you think it: "Are we there yet, are we there yet?". I know that I do, and it is not just on long car journeys, it's on the greatest journey of all, Our lives!!.
It's the Destination that counts
We have become a "focus on the goal only" society, and in themselves, there is nothing wrong with having goals, it's how we become so focused on the goals that we tend to miss everything else along the way.
I drove to work today and my focus was getting there on time, ask me what I might have seen along the way and I honestly could not recall that, as the only thing on my mind, besides my goal of getting to work on time, was the slow car in front of me who had the audacity to be on the road in the first place!!.
I completed my goal and I got to work, yes the car in front did delay me, but I got there. Next goal......
If you want to see if you are journey or goal oriented, find a park bench, sit down and watch the World go by. Time yourself just to see how long it takes before you become restless or agitated. (About 5 minutes is about average)
I remember when I was a kid and I'm talking about 40 years ago (yikes), my sisters & I used to lie on the roof of our house on a clear night and watch the stars for hours. It was a bonus if you spotted a satellite. If I were to do that today, I'd probably be bored in minutes.
What has changed?
My theory is that we've have become even more complicated as a species than ever before, we have become dependent on "stuff" to entertain us, amuse us, occupy us.
Wifi & Social Media have taken over and are now so predominant in the average household, that it is not an unusual scene to see a family sitting together in their living room, all on smartphones, tablets or laptops, TV on (background noise these days), and NO ONE is talking to each other.
It has come to the stage that we will communicate online with someone we barely know, on the other side of the World, but will struggle to have a conversation with our own family member(s) sitting in the same room.
It's a sad reflection that we can't even sit with our own thoughts and feelings anymore!! (Park bench) & many of our kids today don't know how to play "cops & robbers" or other outdoor games.
Why is this?
Instant Gratification - I myself have been a perpetrator of this, I could say the victim, but I am responsible for me.
So going back to the title of this article, I have been so engrossed in achieving the end goal, that I have missed out what is happening along the way.
I have been so engrossed in getting there, never mind the how or why that I've missed the journey by being so desperate for everything NOW, and being impatient to wait or follow the process.
King Baby Syndrome
We live in a society that encourages us and even enables us to have everything that we want NOW.
Want something now -get a credit card or loan.
Want to get fit - high intensive training or steroids.
Want to lose weight - crash diets.
Want to feel good - drugs and alcohol.
Want sales - market aggressively.
Want instant outcomes - stringent goals & very long working hours.
"I want it and I want it NOW".
Nothing is sustained anymore and when you run out or get fed up and stop, everything reverts back to or even worse than it was before.
Credit cards and loans have to be repaid.
Lost weight is gained.
Addiction is a consequence of longterm alcohol & drug abuse.
Sales come and go.
Goals are achieved and immediately reset causing employees to burnout.
I've been there, done it and worn the T-shirt, I'm still no richer, no thinner, no fitter, no more successful, but despite all that, did I enjoy the journey to get there?
To be honest, I can't really remember, as I was so busy focusing on what I wanted, I forgot about the how and why.
"It didn't happen fast enough for me, so I gave up anyway."
For every problem, there is a solution. I am a strong believer in this, as most problems are man-made, so if we created them, we can fix them.
"Nothing comes from nothing" it goes against all universal laws. "You have to give to get back"
If you want anything to work for you, you do need to get a balance in all things.
Have a Goal, something you would want to do and are PASSIONATE about.
Make it as SPECIFIC, MEASURABLE, ACHIEVABLE, REALISTIC and as TIMELY as you can. For e.g: "I will lose one stone in weight by Christmas Eve, by eating fat-free grilled or boiled food and a portion of fruit or veg with each meal 3 times a day, no snacking. Exercising for 30 minutes in the morning as soon as I awake & 30 minutes in the evening, after my dinner. Attending a gym class twice a week on Mondays @ 6p.m. and Fridays @7p.m. " If you just say, "I want to lose a stone weight by Christmas", can you really see yourself doing it?
By setting a goal, you can monitor your progress along the way (journey). Doing this, if you are sticking to your goal, will give you the incentive to continue.
Once you have achieved your goal, you will feel fantastic. Now you need to maintain that goal by making a new goal to help you maintain your new weight. e.g. I will maintain my current weight of 14 stone, by sticking to a healthy regular diet, eating 3 meals a day, no snacking. Exercising for 30 minutes in the morning when I get up and 30 minutes after dinner. Going to the gym class on Mondays ' 6.p.m & Fridays @ 7p.m.
Creating a Goal does take persistence, consistency, and commitment. and it takes a lot of patience and time to come to fruition.