Hi there, it's Dermot here again with my weekly tip...
I am in the process of reading Tony Robbins' book "Awaken The Giant Within", and yes it is a long read and I'm taking my time. (By the way, I'm not being paid by Tony to promote this book). It is an old book, however, I am finding amazing nuggets of information along the way which are proving to be priceless.
I will share one: "Metaphors".
I've been following self-development gurus now for years, especially The Law Of Attraction authors, like Wayne Dyer, Bob Proctor, Abraham Hicks to name but a few. The message is a similar one throughout "Change your thoughts, behavior & feelings", or that is how I've been interpreting it. I have meditated and prayed and meditated some more, but my life hasn't really changed, or has it?
It Takes Action
I was always under a subconscious level belief, being the co-dependant that I am, that if the other person changed first, then that meant whatever I was doing was working. So I waited, I meditated, I waited and meditated...........Nothing much was happening, the other person was exactly the same?!? No change
Now in Tony's book, I came across a chapter on Metaphors. To be honest I never really knew what a metaphor was, or never practiced them. I came to see, that yes, maybe I really do need to change, rather than be willing, meditating and praying for the other person to change first.
Doing things differently
Aha, this might just work. My old metaphor towards my wife was "Why is she ALWAYS putting me down". Now as I dwelt on this thought, my blood would boil, I would be pissed off for the whole day and full of blame "There she goes again, ruining my day again" Being co-dependant, I rarely argued back, but just internalized it. Now and again I would get defensive and tried to justify myself, but I'd only make a complete twit of myself, as I knew she was right, it was just the way she came across.
This was a self-defeating prophecy or cycle in our house, every morning before we all went our separate ways to work.
Eyes Wide Open
When I read the metaphor chapter, the penny dropped with a bang, my eyes opened WIDE and I had an epiphany. What if I were to change my metaphor?! So I did, and now my new metaphor is "Why is she ALWAYS putting me right". It is absolutely amazing just how powerful words are when put in the right context. Do you know what?
It works, my wife yes, still has her say, but it is how I now perceive what she sais and how. I used to be on the defensive, awaiting an attack, and guess what, it came, I wasn't proven wrong. Now I don't, the emotional intensity is gone, I don't feel the urge to react, I agree with her and accept responsibility and I don't let my ego get in the way and make me feel hurt.
I changed and due to this, so did she. Now don't get me wrong, we still have our disagreements and odd argument, but then who doesn't, however, mornings are an absolute pleasure now compared to the past.
I have to laugh now at just how simple everything is and just how complicated we are. In hindsight, I came to see that all the self-help books I had read throughout the years had exactly the same message & I just didn't see it. Change yourself first irrespective of others.
I was so used to being pampered by self-motivation, be kind and good to myself material, that it took Tony "Massive Action" Robbins, to come along & make me kick my own butt and actually take action.
Now, I have taken this attitude, thought pattern and behavior further in other areas of my life. I am learning to say NO to people, especially at work. I am challenging people more effectively and standing by my convictions and I have changed my metaphor, mantra as I now call it, from "I Can't" to "I am going to" or "It won't work" to "I'll make it happen". It is a working progress, but then so is everything in life, but boy it feels great to feel good about myself and my abilities, rather than feel like a failure and be full of fear.
This new boost of self-confidence has also encouraged me to continue to pursue a passion of mine, Online Marketing. I had started it a few months ago, but I again used the negative metaphor "No one is supporting me on this" to "I am my own person and will persevere with or without support". Guess what? I am getting the support now from my wife, more than I was and she has even agreed for me go to a workshop in London. Wow!! I almost gave up my fledgling online business, but now I am invigorated again.
Now if you are like me and have a massive desire to change your life for the better, then do as Tony Robbin's does "Take Massive Action", and believe me, you will start to see a shift in yourself. I had seen Tony Robbin's on Youtube in the past and I always thought he was very loud, in your face and even aggressive. He reminded me more of a WWF wrestler than a motivation coach. It was through my signing up with SFM (The Six Figure Mentors), that I came to read his book, and boy my perceptions have changed as he is a very wise person.
To Sum Up
Now Affiliate Marketing might not be for everyone, but my suggestion to you is to just watch the 7-day video series by the co-founders, Stuart & Jay, and decide from there. The video series is free, very interesting and will show you, at least, just what opportunities are available online. I'll leave you to decide.
I wish you a happy day, Take Care.