Who do you want to become? Are you at a place in your life where you can sit back and look at your life and say Ahhhh this is exactly who I was meant to be? If not, why not? Well, I know that is not an easy question to answer. There is so much keeping us from our dream life, I get it. There was a time in my life when I was in a city I did not want to be in and I thought I was married to the wrong person and I owned a business that I didn’t want to own. I was even doing recreational activities I had no interest in doing. I thought I was stuck, I was so unhappy.
Everything I did was because I thought it was the right thing to do. Everybody wanted me to be someone else. Just in my own family I have tons of different labels. I am a mom, a wife, an aunt, a sister-in-law, a daughter in law etc... The list really goes on and on doesn’t it. We have so many labels how can we possibly keep up with being all of them.
I was told the way I looked at the world was “childish” and I needed to understand “reality.” Well, if you here that enough you begin to believe it and because I wanted to be accepted and I wanted to be a good wife and a great mother I copied the behavior’s of what other wives and mothers did. I used someone else’s blueprint to design my life. Everyone around me was happy with the way things were turning out but I was miserable. I have a quirky way about me and that was getting stifled. Trust me, take it from somebody who has been there, I thought there was no light at the end of the very long dark tunnel.
So how do you build the bridge to the person you want to become from the person you are? For me, it was about finally listening to that little voice inside of me that kept just getting bigger and bigger and I just kept thinking I wasn’t meant to feel this bad about what I have. I couldn’t be on my right path if I felt this bad about being alive, I am not meant to live this way I’m just not. I had to trust that voice and I had to have faith. I had such a strong feeling that I needed to look at every thing in my life like a puzzle. I wanted to find the pieces that fit and get rid of the pieces that didn’t. I became very curious as to why I was in this situation and what the meaning of it was. I just couldn’t settle into the idea that my life couldn’t change.
If you are feeling this way and wanting change be focused, be curious. Spend time by yourself. Read books, pray, meditate. Only you can decide for yourself which way is the way to a better life. It is out there we just have to get out of our own way. The answers will come I can tell you that from experience. If the person you are meant to be is screaming inside to let it out then I would listen. It is not a quick fix but just the fact that you know you are stepping into change can make you happier.
No one can do it alone, find someone you trust that you can talk to. Become a part of a community who think like you. I found my tribe and I think you can find yours. The more I started being open and talking to someone and acknowledged that I wanted change the more the world opened up and showed me the way.
If your wondering, I didn’t have to leave my family in fact they supported me and they really had no idea I was hurting so much. Like I said, once I started opening up so did my world. I am the happiest I have ever been and I continue to grow and learn an put myself out there because it is my life and I want to live it the best I can.
Many blessings to you on your journey!