Chapter 2 - I Cried Kinda Today :-)

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Tuesday 08 January 2019

I had another great day. 

Remember writing my diary last night, I was up till 3:30 Am, I woke up 8:45 AM, checked the date to make sure my boss is not expecting me at work today. It supposed to be 8th Jan Today and it seemed it is. It’s my day of surgery. So I remembered about the 8th. If not, I am trying to let go of the dates and times and practising time is an elusion thing from “Power of Now”. 

I felt stressed as soon as I wokeup, the stress I felt last year when I had something got done on my other foot, today was the left foot, nothing wrong, the bone under the toe is a little inflamed so they kindly gave me a steroid injection. I actually had a leg workout at the gym 3 hours before surgery, so it’s nothing to worry about but just needs to be done.. 

I sat on the sofa and checked the time of the surgery, I need to get there at 3:30 pm, so work backwords, What do I need to do first and what all I have, I need to pick up the prescription first from last night that’s a priority, right for that I need to go to Tesco, there is a pharmacy there. 

First I need to have breakfast, went into the kitchen, made a chicken breast, in a blender some yogurt, half a avacado in 2 jars, yogurt and chicken breast. Grind and drink. Easy!! 

Meanwhile, I put the rice on, I have some curry left from yesterday so rice would be sufficient.. Remember I am preparing my full meal today and tomorrow.. I can kinda do something tomorrow but today after the surgery I just want to rest. 

I cleaned most of house, and I cleaned all my room, sheets everything changed it was already almost close to 12 by the time I finished with all..  I quickly went to Tesco to do my grocery and prescription, I should have kinda done the super market thing a little earlier because I live close to work, so all my work people shop there lunch times.. I did kinda see one.  

I dropped my prescription at the counter and said can I come back in 5 minutes, the guy said 10 minutes, did my shopping and went back to collect and he said, you have to wait another 15 minutes.. I said, please can I have my prescription back because I need to get out of that super market, the late I stay there the more will be my workmates, they would wonder how am I doing a huge shopping at lunch time.. lol.. 

I got home, sorted the grocery, It was almost close to 1pm and I only have a  two and half hours.. I got ready for the gym because, I need to do a leg workout, I usually feel very energetic the day after my leg workout so I need this exactly before the surgery to boost my immune system and I do not want to miss todays workout. Doesn’t matter I have surgery or whatever.. 

I need to first pick up the prescription and the pharmacy is on my way to the Gym. I lived in Oval for 6 years now and never realised until yesterday that there is a pharmacy on my way to gym in the corner, I never bothered to look. Thats how mentally away I have been.. but I am glad, I am back to normal now.. enjoying things.. 

I waked into the pharmacy, Indian looking pretty girl, I said happy new year.. I need these, please! giving my prescription and said, Congratulation this is a new store right?  The girl said, No! We have always been there!!!   Aw!!! Yes, I might just opened my eyes.. 

She started working on my prescription and I started looking around, I found things just what I have been looking for.. The universe had to do so many dramas just to make me go there.. Universe made no medication available in the clinic last night, so she gave me a prescription which ever never happens in England, It’s all free usually” ( I am grateful for that). 

Then the dude in the super market pharmacy, he did kinda create funny energy when he said do you pay for your prescription, my flatmate didn’t pay for the same prescription from same place, but I had to pay £8.80 I think.. 

Anyway, looking around in the pharmacy, I found some face derma cream, my dad, last time when I went home, at one point, he said, touching his face, I got some dark on my skin around here right son?, I felt so sorry.. I love my dad so much.. 

And I found Vitamin E cream for my mum.. she loves this type of cream which has vitamins and there are some pink flowers on the box. So this is her type.. 

I have been waiting for these for few months now since I got back from my last visit home in Oct last year. Last week was my nephews birthday, I bought him and my niece a couple gifts but didn’t post them because I felt like I was missing something, I just need a few chocolates then I can post the box to India..   

I got them I asked the girl the time and she said 1:20. Damn! I only have until 2pm..   So It will only be half hour at the gym so quickly went there. Set my first timer on for 15 minutes.. 2 sets of pull ups, 1 set of dips done, quickly went towards weights area did 3 x Shoulder dumbbell raises 24 Kgs..  First 15 minutes way long gone,  I need to at least do one legs.. Been looking for a free Squads machine.. the gym was busy at 1:30 in the afternoon.. All these people, quiet nice looking ones.. There weren’t many girls today. I wondered, all these guys not working? How is it busy… Oh well.. 

I finally found a squad machine and did 3 sets x 40 kgs  squads. 

Got home, shower, ate some rice that I cooked this morning and curry from yesterday, packed my bag with the chicken avacado juice this morning, a bottle of water, necessary paper work and left home at 3 pm sharp.. Walked upto oval tube station, then tube to London Bridge, 

On the tube, Maybe at Elephant and Castle a guy came on to the tube asking for money. As soon as I saw him, I thought I will give him some money.. If I have a fiver I will give him, I am going to a surgery. It will be very good for my energy doing a good deed. And I checked my walled and I had only one note of £20.. I kinda didn’t want to give that.. 

He came close to our carriage, he said, It’s embarrassing you know, I am not just asking.. 

I felt so bad, next station, the train stopped he hopped onto next couch.. I ran outside, ran more further and went ahead of him, because I need to give him some money.. I stood there, by then I had a talk in myself.. So, you saw a guy asking and you want to help but you are worried about £20 is huge for you to give.. 

I conditioned myself that If I give that I will be with lack of something.. ( I acknowledge this thought, action and creation, I would like to change this to move free and giving action ) 

The guy started walking towards me, I am standing in the middle. I was gonna get the £20 out, then I saw him staring a pretty girl all the way walking.. I didn't know, or I didn’t like the way he was looking at that girl .. and my hands didn’t give him the money..  ( I acknowledge this action, and everything in question, I think I judged him at that time, he is sensible enough to look at the pretty girl, he’s probably lying about the money.. I didn’t give him, I should have given him, I judged him. I don’t know whats going on with him.. Obviously most of my energy made me jump from one carriage to other carriage and decided to give the highest amount that I have ever given out and at the last moment, what came on to me? I have no idea but I will acknowledge all this experience and grateful for the moment.. 

Got off the Shard exit.. Guys hospital. Very kind looking young nurse boy/guy very pleasant and kind.. took the consent, explained things and got me ready, I was already very freaked out. Freaked out for having attracted another surgery 12 months after one before or just to have to undergo the thing, I don’t even know if I really wanted to go through it.. A steroid injection, what if it’s effects dies and the pain might come back. When I see the doc he will be able to explain it more properly. The doc came to see me, he could see I was freaking out, he said I remember you from last time, this foot is nothing compared to the other, this is just an injection, nothing to worry about. 

How is your other leg now? I said It’s excellent.. Yeah, thats it, with the injection the inflammation will subside and it will all settle, Just like your other foot, we hope everything will be perfect.. right?  I smiled and said yes. My eyes were already tearing asking him those. 

Three Docs were around me they were all extremely kind, They started cleaning my foot etc basically started.  I was so scared, tears started rolling my eyes. It’s not painful but it’s just not a great experience.. And how did I manage to attract that. I had one kinda big deal one 12 months ago and this quick again.. How am I attracting these patters and how can I change that? I thought I was doing all right, I have been meditating, being positive always, trying to be happy, doing everything right, and I was trying to think more fo things that I want then I don’t want.. Where am I going wrong? How did mange to attract the same hospital experience this quick.. Dear God! Help me! I surrender!!! 

The injection in the middle of the two bones in some area was successfully done. The Docs said, It’s done. Just rest for sometime, I will be back. I closed my eyes.. 

Whiles they were doing the procedure, I am grateful to say that I have been mindful at that time and I was actually telling myself, Ash, don’t forget you should pray Alham Surah at that time and you should say your Affirmations.. And I did.. I prayed and I also said my Affirmation. 

I fell a sleep, wokeup Doc sitting on the other side doing some paperwork. It was nice to see him, I smiled. I am so grateful to him, he is the one who did my other leg. And It’s perfectly great. Thank you!! 

Another pleasant nurse discharged me. I got downstairs, I was gonna get my own Uber home..  some reason  I wasn’t able to book, I wasn’t receiving the confirmation code, I bought new phone. I had to phone a friend asking if he can book, I felt like I didn’t speak to him well when I asked if he can book me one. I said to him, I will text you the details, please would you be able to book a uber for me home, I am actually at the hospital, I had a little thing done on my foot today, he said, oh.. okay.. I said, sorry I am not supposed to be phoning anyone, I thought I would get home but the Ubers playing up.. He said, I am not sure I would be able to book with out me being in the location. Then I said, yes you can with the post code. He said, ok, send me.. I am in the middle of the cooking. 

I sent him the details, then somehow the confirmation code appeared now.. I Said to my friend, hangon, I think I am able to book myself, give me 1 min.. 

I was able to book myself. I said to him, it’s ok.. thank you, I am able to book myself. On my way now.

I was greeted by the Cab driver, Ash.. I said, Yes.. 

How you doing?  I said, great, thank you..   He saw me limping.. 

I asked him, Please do you mind, on our way, if there is any super market, I want to pick up a sandwich.. he said, yes.. sure.. 

Drove for 2 minutes, here there is Tesco Express.  I asked, do you need anything?  Do you want a sandwich? 

I can get you one, tell me what do you want? 

He was a little happy by then and he said, I would like a Lucozide, sure, what flavour do you want? 

He said, just any classic. 

I got in the Tesco and bought, 1 beef horseradish sauce and 1 cheese something. I like these both.. 

I got back home, when I opened my rooms door, turned the light on, the room looked so beautiful.. I had used all white covers, sheets, pillow covers all white. So it looked really peaceful and happy and welcoming me home.. I felt like everything in my room was welcoming me home after my dreadful experience.. 

I felt so happy. . and just now too thinking of it. 

Ate the sandwiches that I bought watching a half episode of Downton Abbey and Sat down with my laptop after that.. 

What a wonderful day I had.. Thank you for this understanding that I am able to look back at my day.. 

3 x things I am grateful for today. 

I am grateful for having this wonderful room 
I am grateful for living in this house. 
And I am grateful for all my flatmates.. 

3 x Happy moments of my day. 

- I felt so happy when the doc said, just like your other foot, we hope to get this completely gone too.. right? 

I felt so happy as soon as I opened my rooms door and I felt so cirine.. 
I felt so happy that I was able to pick up the sandwich jumping off the uber, with the limp on my foot, I felt like eating a sandwich for some reason in the hospital. I remembered Ms Sandra’s sandwiches at Christmas time. I love them. 

1 x Act of Kindness 

Bought the lucozoide to the cab driver. I felt happy too. 

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