Choose Your Words Wisely

Words are powerful.

The last time I made a real effort to stop smoking and drinking I struggled. I expected that, so I sought help. After having tried patches, hypnosis, gum, cold turkey, reading books, watching documentaries, etc., I chose to attend an AA meeting. For the next 8 months it really helped to connect with people going through the same struggle.

Alcoholics Anonymous is for people that want to stop drinking alcohol and whilst there is no AA for smokers, I believe the struggle is the same. Each of us in those meetings had reached a stage where we didn't want to drink anymore, yet time and time again found ourselves with a drink in our hand. I would be surprised if you have not uttered the words, "I will never drink again" or something to that effect.

Most smokers will tell you that they don't want to smoke, but that they're addicted.

The word addicted conjures up a strong connection to something, but I doubt whether it's the cigarette or drink itself. For me it was more about the social aspect of it and of course after a time it becomes a habit. With drinking, we have the added physical affect it gives us. Relaxation, stress relief, happy, chilled, etc.

As a big drinker it never sat well with me this notion of alcoholism being a ‘disease’ or that the reason I kept smoking was because nicotine is one of the most addictive substances in the world. This only helped justify my actions of drinking and smoking. By giving cigarettes and alcohol power through words, we inevitably believe our own bullshit. In the end isn't that who we're trying to convince?

Drinking is a form of escapism.

When people intend to drink more than a few drinks, they certainly don’t intend to do anything that requires any form of responsibility afterwards. Well at least they shouldn’t. Smoking for decades was a very social act and for a lot of people, especially in the work place, was an excuse to leave the desk for 5-10 minutes and catch up on the goss. Kind of like standing around the office water cooler.

People drink to socialize, to do something when sitting or standing around and catching up with people. Designated drivers never seem to have as much of a good time as their drinking friends, because the situation is uncomfortable for many reasons. But I'll leave that for another time. If you NEED to drink in order to have fun socializing...what does this tell you?

I need a drink! I need a cigarette!

Drinking and smoking are a form of stress release. After a long day in the office people exclaim “I need a drink!” or "I need a cigarette!". NEED? When did it become a need rather than a want? The words we use are extremely powerful! By uttering those words, we are telling ourselves it MUST happen. We all know the difference between a need and a want, yet we confuse the two terms often.

The language we use determines our relationship. I'm not an alcoholic, I don't have a disease, I'm not out of control...I've just had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I've told myself countless times that I NEED a drink or better yet DESERVE a drink! The same goes for cigarettes. How many times have you said that out loud or thought it?

If you repeat something often enough it becomes the truth.

Our subconscious mind can be trained to believe anything you tell it. Paul Joseph Goebbels said "if you repeat a lie often enough, people will believe it, and you will even come to believe it yourself". Words are powerful. Paul was Adolf Hitler's Propaganda Minister. It's the same psychology we use on ourselves time and time again.

Only in educating myself and becoming self-aware of the words I spoke, did I manage to understand why it was that I would so readily pick up a drink or cigarette, so often, for so many years. You can't fix what you don't know is broken, hence it's only once drinking becomes an issue or that your doctor diagnoses you with lung cancer, that we finally realize that something's very broken.

Change what you tell yourself and your actions will follow.

Now I challenge you to apply this same philosophy to something in your life that you want to change. Whether you want to quit smoking or drinking, lose weight, change your career or job, move interstate, learn a new language...anything! The words you use to associate with whatever it is, are powerful in determining your relationship with it.

Change how you view your relationship with whatever it is that you want to change. Change the words you use to speak about it in relation to yourself and others. Once you do that...you'll realize that it's all in the mind and in order to stay in control, you need to choose your words wisely.