What's Stopping You From Having What You Want?

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DECISION TIME

You have until Monday to make a decision and the thing that’s in the way for you, is the thing that’s been in the way for as long as you can remember.  You know what it is.

If you’re like me, it could be money and confidence. Maybe you don’t have the time you want. Perhaps you feel you don’t deserve it.  Maybe you’re not smart enough, pretty enough, good enough or thin enough?  If you were to take a look through your life, it is almost certain that the thing that you don’t have is the thing you want.  If an opportunity presents itself, you find yourself flipping through Instagram, watching cute puppy videos on Face Book, vacuuming, doing the dishes, answering a call from your mother, anything but going after what you want.   

I can relate.  I watch the same videos.

Sometimes what you want is really subtle. It might show up first as what you don’t want.

Like waking up for work most mornings wanting to call in sick and pull the covers back over your head? Who really wants to work anyway. I really wonder how many people would keep their jobs if they won the lottery. Probably not many. 

Maybe you see an ad on Instagram for a tropical vacation and then reality kicks in, your car needs new brakes and you've used up the last of your holiday time at a relatives wedding. 

What if it’s something you want but you need to ask for it but you don’t have the words, or you don’t feel like you’d be taken seriously?

We are full of reasons and excuses. They seemingly have a roll.  Keep us safe. Safe from what though? We aren't in any danger anymore.  This isn't the cave man days.  No sabertooth tigers chasing us.  We have been hood-winked into believing that playing small is best for us. We give up easily when we feel the slightest bit of discomfort instead of noticing what that is and seeing if we'll survive it. 

A mentor once said to me, I climbed the mountain of that one thing that was holding me back, only to see when I got to the top, there was another mountain right behind it. The thing is, the next mounting didn't kill him. He kept going. Every time he got to the top he knew he was getting clearer and stronger and more certain on his vision and why he was doing it. He kept getting out of the way what was in the way of him having everything he wanted. 

His clarity inspired others like me. I saw the possibility of getting out of the way what was in the way for me. It means I have to keep going. It means I have to confront my mountains. 

Maybe you've hiked a bit. Maybe it was too much and you stopped or even turned around and went back down?

I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that.  There is nothing wrong with any path we choose. You might just sit down and cry on the top of that first mountain. Wail!!!!!!

Perhaps that makes you feel better and you pick up your backpack with the Elven bread in it, (oh wait wrong story, that was Frodo in Lord of the Rings) and carry on. Or despite the vocal release you still turn around feeling defeated and go home.

Don’t be surprised, that whatever path you choose, your inner being will never stop calling you. It wants you to be, do, have anything you want because it knows who you are.   You don’t even have to believe me.  You will feel it. If you are here reading this, you’ve already felt it and maybe even brushed it off.  

“Oh poppy-cock.. What a ridiculous thought that I could be, do, or have anything I want”!

Isn’t it interesting that we wouldn’t hesitate to tell our toddler that if she wants to be a fireperson when she grows up, of course you can darling, you go for it. You’ll be the best firewoman in the whole city with that determination”.  We see unlimited potential for them. Just not for us. 

Well I am at the top of one of my mountains right now.   

I have a decision to make. My achilles heal is money. It is therefore no surprise that to break through my limiting beliefs is going to take some money, and some conversations to get it.

I have struggled with these conversations for a long time. This is my next mountain.   

For the past month or more, I have talked all about the fact that I’m going to take on this program that will shift a whole lot of limiting conversations I have.  I have posted it on a live Facebook group and talked to myself about it. Inside my head is a safe environment because although I did all that, I still had not done the thing I was afraid of the most, ask for the money I need to get me to the next mountain range. I even went to the bank to ask for a loan.  I gave myself a good pat on the back for that. 

I got denied. So much for that little mountain-hill.  

My next course of action is to ask my father for a loan.  I am 100% committed to paying it back, but even then, I have hummed and hawed about having the conversation with him.  The little girl in me is afraid of not doing what my dad thinks is right for me. He was the one who wanted my brother and I to get university degrees.  It was definitely a good thing when I look back. It opened up many doors. He was the one who suggested my first work industry. He told me to either marry a rich farmer or get a good paying job with good benefits.  Pharmaceutical Sales fit the bill.  

It wasn’t what he did.  With a college Diploma in business, he became a successful entrepreneur and builder. Despite his financial success my dad talked a lot about anxiety and stress. He didn’t want his kids to take the same path and struggle like that. Ironically my brother has his own business and struggles with stress. His daughter, me, has bounced around in so many jobs and careers and of course I too have had stress and struggles.  I have come to learn that no matter what we want for our children, their path will eventually find them.  Despite the good intentions of a parent, life will have its way with us too.  Although my dad really wanted me to find something to take care of me.. either a man or a job or both, I want to build that something so I can take care of me. Ironically, I want to be an entrepreneur like my dad.  I want to have my own business, but I want it to be something I start, my idea, my passion and my inspired action. 

My dad loves me.  I know that.  And he wants what most fathers want.  He wants his kids to be happy and healthy and to outlive him. I don’t know if that’s a for sure but what I do know about the path I’m choosing to take right now, I’m choosing it for me. I have mentors and products and support that I won’t get at school.

I have an opportunity to learn and earn.  It calls for a deeper dive into mindset and what limits me in being, doing or having anything I want.  I have come to know that this isn’t about money or things. This is about recognizing what I am passionate and or good at and being able to participate in that as much or as little as I want. It’s about living my life my way and looking eagerly for the next mountain as I reach each peak.  We can’t choose people's paths for them.  I can’t tell you to leap.. or go back or stay right where you are.  I can’t tell you it’s better over here.  My experience and yours are as unique as our fingerprints. Whatever gets in your way is for you to recognize as your achillies heal.  It's not really in your way. In fact its in front of you so you can see it and make freinds with it. Realize it has far less power than you give it credit for.

I invite you to keep going to your next mountain.  Notice what stops you. Maybe its exactly where you need to go. 

My path is getting clearer and clearer. The journey is an exciting one. Sometimes it comes in disguise but if you see it, don't look away.  

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