The Stuck In A Rut Story - Instant Gratification - Patrik Hillerhag - Part 4 of 30 - The Rollercoaster.
Inspirational post shared by Mark Ford, with the full permission of Patrik Hillerhag, concerning being stuck in a rut and instant gratification.
Please note that this includes delicate and explicit information. You may agree that Patrik is to be applauded for his vulnerability in the face of sharing this with you.
If you do not want to read this you are asked to skip to the next article. However, it is shared as is from Patrik to show the inspirational journey, over 30 blog posts, that he has gone on and how he has dealt with being stuck in a rut and maintaining motivation to move forwards.
In doing so... it is hoped that you take value from the share and can resonate with it from your own journey.
Patrik was challenged to 'stay in action' building his home business and lacked motivation and became stuck in a rut. He took on a challenge from me to write 30 blog posts on the topic to help motivate him and get to the root of why he was like this. He found that by going back over his story and sharing it, it helped him realise where he was in life and why and what was needed to not let his past define his future.
He is now working as a freelance life coach and has made significant steps forward in his new found career. All the best Patrik!
Part 4 ... The rollercoaster ride that had to end...
I thought that the school system was a big f*cking piece of sh*t when I was in my mid teens. I felt angry over the fact that I had been and was a hopeless case, a scapegoat who got the blame for stuff I didn’t even do.
Not to say that I was a perfect little angel, like the girls in class, because I wasn’t, but I certainly wasn’t as bad as some teachers made it and the sheer rebellion against their annoying way of seeing us boys as just a burden.
I remember being furious about some of the girls sucking up to the teachers, and complaining about the mere existence of us guys. The school system was clearly there to put you in a box and if you didn’t fit into that box, you were to be put in to the box anyways. I felt like a square being put in a round hole. I couldn’t sit still and focus on things that was so boring and seemed so useless anyways.
No wonder, since I was either overstimulated or having withdrawal symptoms coming down from my cocktail of sugar, wanking or alcohol. My faith in adults was long gone, and I was only out there now to not give a shit and to make their lives worse, since they had put me in the box of being a useless trouble maker, I might as well act like one. In fact, why not be the best trouble maker I can be, since they want that anyways.
The law of attraction works. That was made pretty clear to me, because when I decided what I wanted and worked to get it, I got it. The only problem was, that I had decided to f*ck up my life as much as possible, since I had no future in the sh*tty system that I was brought up in anyways. At least that is what I thought.
I started to find role models in music that was also speaking this sort of truth. I found punk rock music and it became the soundtrack to my frustrated life. The music spoke directly to me and I embraced it fully, but I was still too afraid to stand out in school, so I never fully looked like the bands that I listened and looked up to.
They had red mohawks, tattoos and leather jackets. I knew that if I showed up like that to school, it would only get me unnecessary attention and draw more trouble towards me. And it would probably give me even less hope with the girls, if that was possible.
I quickly realized that punk rock was a lot more than just spiky hair and yelling out obscure lyrics over a nasty guitar sound.
There were those bands and then there was the more positive, uplifting punks. Probably rejected by the “real punks”, the tough guys. Since I was never really a tough guy, even though I tried for years to be one, I always enjoyed the more melodic punk rather than the hardest of the hard.
I started going to shows and it gave me an identity. It came hand in hand with the interest I had in football and going to games at the stadium with my friends. That had everything I needed to get a kick, it was dangerous and exciting.
The first time I was on a football stadium, seeing 5000 people singing as loud as the possibly could and going absolutely crazy when the team scored a goal, that was breathtaking. I had only seen videos of the supporters before, but seeing it in real life with the flags, confetti and the smoke from the burning flairs was something that drew me in like a magnet.
The first time I got drunk, was before a football game. I had some friends who were a year older and they had hooked us up with a case of beer. I was about to turn 16 years old when I tried to not look like a complete newbie and impress upon my older friends, so I kept my face even though the beer tasted like crap and I drank as much as I could before going to the game.
After getting down 7 beers, we walked to the stadium. I felt a sense of confidence I had never had before. All the sudden it was as if the world was not scary, and talking to girls wasn’t either. In fact, everything felt amazing and I was happy and free from worries.
As we walked into the stadium, I faced the roaring crowd and went up the stairs to find my friends. Wow, I could barely see 2 meters ahead of me, it was like I’d become cross eyed and everything was blurry. I tried to call my friends and it felt like forever before they picked up the phone, I yelled slurring where are you?
I walked up the stairs and finally after looking like completely lost for a few minutes I found them. By this point I was completely hammered. I could barely stand. Don’t remember anything of the first half of the game. In the second half, my “no worries” would quickly turn as my stomach also did. Oh, shit this is bad. The 7 beers I had downed before the game didn’t want to stay inside and before I knew it, they were all on the ground in front of me in a pool of shame.
People around me took a step back and it formed an even bigger shame on me as the ring of empty chairs stated that something was wrong. The looks and stares I got made me feel like a complete loser as I sat down in my own sorrow throughout the rest of the game.
My parents didn’t recognize that something was wrong when I came home, and after eating dinner I sobered up surprisingly quickly.
I guess an experience like this would put most people of alcohol for quite a while, and I probably didn’t drink for a month or so. But my wild partying days hadn’t even begun.
Come back tomorrow as Patrick continues his Instant Gratification Story Part 3... The Fall.
You're more than welcome to join me on this journey." - Signed Patrik Hillerhag
From Mark Ford... Thank you for sharing this fourth part of your stuck in a rut story. We look forward to reading the other 26 blog posts and in addition the 15 videos that Patrik has done on motivational issues.
I hope that those of you who read this take some value from it and that you can relate to this in some way. Please leave a comment and we can continue this conversation.
This Ted talk may also prove helpful.
Stuck In A Rut Video -Ted Talk
Accreditation: How to get unstuck | Terry Singh | TEDxYYC - TEDx Talks
I wish you every success in achieving your goals and knocking your ruts firmly on the head.