Innocent Or Malicious
We all have upset someone at some time or another whether malicious or innocent.
Maybe it is time we think about what we are going to say before the words come out of our mouth.
Our communications reflect in our countenance. Therefore, we must be careful not only what we communicate, but also how we do so. Souls can be strengthened or shattered by the message and the manner in which we communicate.
L. Lionel Kendrick
Think about what you have said to your children when you are stressed or angry. I’m sure you can look back on some of the things you have said and feel happy that you have treated that child with love, respect, consideration and care. Yet there will be other times when you consider what have said and cringe. You know you have upset that child. The only way you can undo any word spoken in haste, is apologize to that child and give them a big hug.
Children are very susceptible to what people say and how they say it. They are like a sponge and take in every word. Like the other day my granddaughter was in the car with me and an old man was driving the car in front of me at a slow speed. Without thinking, I said “Come on Gramps, hurry up” Next a little voice that is still learning to talk, says; “hurry up Gamps” in the same tone as I said it.
If you keep telling a child that they are stupid, dumb, you make me sick, you’re naughty, an idiot, ugly, etc. how do you think they will turn out? They will grow up believing what you say.
Would that be malicious or innocent? Usually very malicious.
Children are even more vulnerable than adults.
Adults and young adults
Even as adults, many times we say things without thinking.
For example; a few of your friends or colleagues having a chat and the conversation comes to weight loss. One of them says “Do you think you could be overweight?” Now, you know you aren’t thin but you aren’t really that much overweight either. In fact, someone else would say you are a healthy-looking person.
Is this malicious or innocent? Depends on how they say it. If they try to explain what they meant or apologize straight away, could be that it was innocent. In the meantime, you are left thinking that “everyone thinks I’m fat” and you will be upset.
As an adult, it upsets us but usually doesn’t do lasting damage. We learn to “get over it”
But how do think a very impressionable teenager will react? They can become obsessed with it and often this will lead to bulimia or anorexia.
Sometimes this could be INNOCENT but amongst teenagers this can be very MALICIOUS.
A friend told me about going to a meeting and taking one of the older staff members with her. Afterwards she received an email from the person that the meeting was with, saying that he was happy with the meeting but not with the “old lady that you brought with you” Sadly this “Old” staff member saw the email and was horrified. This had quite an impact on her and she retired soon after. This staff member was a very hard worker, knew more about the business than many of the other staff, yet with a few careless words from someone who was busy labeling people, another older person feels inadequate, is sad, unhappy and rejected.
Herein lies the message “be careful what you say about other people, even in emails because you never know who sees them.”
No matter if you are young or old, words often carelessly spoken can hurt.
Then there are those who elaborate on something they have heard. Like the other day, I was told about a company that I know the owners of. This person told me that the Company was in trouble, probably going bankrupt. I asked how they knew that the Company was in financial trouble. He said that they had approached another person he knew and asked if they wanted to buy him out. That’s all he was told.
From that sentence, the person who told me about it decided that if they were selling the Company, then they must be in financial difficulties.
Really!!!. There must be a lot of people in financial difficulties then. This sort of conversation can ruin the chance of selling the Company for what it is really worth. That comment will be repeated so that whoever eventually buys the business will probably get it for less than it is worth.
So you see, by not watching what you say, be it malicious or innocent, you can destroy a persons life.
Regardless of your opinion, think befor opening your mouth. Try saying whatever is on your mind with kindness and consideration.
If you have stumbled across my blog and like what you have read, maybe you would be interested in knowing more about the Online Business Community and Mentors who I am so grateful for. They have provided me with the training and education to live my life the way I have always dreamed of.