Sergei The Black Sheep Of The Family

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At eight years old, I realized that I was the black sheep of the family. Oddly enough, it is also human nature for relatives to alienate or marginalize such a family member, who acts differently from the others. Yet, I think being a black sheep comes from a desire to take a chance and find a new way.

Is there something wrong with wanting to do things in another way?

I have always been considered as the black sheep by most of my family because I chose my own path. Many times, I felt their hatred. I did not feel like I belonged to them. There were too many differences because I did not think like them.

Today, 23rd of November is the day I came into this world. The year was 1963. In my early years, I moved to the Soviet Union with my mother and had lost contact with the family on my paternal side. Yet after three decades, I still remember how they laughed about my dreams or beliefs, only because I dared to be unusual.

The Black Sheep is Different

Being the black sheep of the family is not an easy thing at first. I was treated differently, excluded, and even disapproved of by most relatives. Usually, a black sheep is considered so for various reasons. It includes not believing in the same faith, having different convictions, not following the prescribed path, or having different dreams, principles or views than the rest of the family.

If you are the black sheep of the family like me, the chances are that you know precisely what I am talking about. You are born as the odd one of the group and your relatives are not pleased with the way you live your life.

Therefore, you might be a constant disappointment to your family. But many of the black sheep are the ones who make a difference in this world. They go their own way because they know that is more to life than what the eye can see.

The Way of the Black Sheep

I could have become a biologist, but I did not stick in at school, even if I aced every biology class and loved it. I instead preferred to spend time with horses. I wanted to see the world with my own eyes and not follow the crowd.

You should understand that being the black sheep of the family does not make you a bad person. It just means that you are not like everyone else. You feel and see things differently, from another perspective. It shows that you have your own opinions, and you often feel probably much alone. You may feel like you are fighting an impossible battle.

Now, you may have another lifestyle than those in your family. You are more someone who follow their dreams, no matter the consequences, and want to be happy, rather than accept the status quo. And so, your relatives cannot understand and appreciate that.

My Final Thought

But remember, it is your life, and only yours. Do whatever makes you happy. As a black sheep, I understood a long time ago that not everyone is going to agree with what you do, but in the end, you have to do what is right for you because no one has to live your existence, just you.

Relatives and countless others marginalized me, and I continued to be the black sheep of my family until I over lived them all. Today, I am now fifty-four years old, and I am glad I followed my dreams wherever they brought me and travelled the world. I am yet not done, only beginning!

The reason being is that I have learned and acquired countless strategies for resilience over time. A long ago, I came to terms with my black sheep reputation and became proud of it. Now I can see it as an essential and defining part of who I am.


Sergei VanBellinghen, Founder & CEO of First-Class Lifestyle, currently a Personal Growth & Success Expert, using self-development techniques to help you succeed and have a better life. Visit my website at

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