Anger in Recovery

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[ ang-ger]

a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong; wrath; ire.
Chiefly British Dialect. pain or smart, as of a sore.
Obsolete. grief; trouble.
to arouse anger or wrath in.
Chiefly British Dialect. to cause to smart; inflame.


Hi it's Dermot again. If you read my last blog, you will know that this is a follow up to that blog and part of a "Recovery from Addiction Series", If not read on:

Most people are uncomfortable talking about anger, as it relates to aggression and violence. Nobody likes to be labelled as an angry person. Anger, in most cases, is a learned behaviour and mainly through life's experiences. Anger and addiction do go hand in hand.

This is one emotion, though, I cannot really relate to in my recovery. I would have internalised my anger as a resentment towards others and especially towards myself.

I was never an aggressive or violent alcoholic, I would have run from aggression and violence, and would have avoided situations that could turn violent. I would have drank on my own mainly to avoid alcohol spurred violence.

Anger, though as an emotion is not actually bad. It is a lot better than apathy, as a person with anger is more motivated to get things done. How you manage or direct your anger is what counts here.

People have got sober through anger and stayed sober for years through anger “Dry Drunk”. Not the best form of recovery, but at least they have been able to manage their anger better sober than drunk.

I have dealt with many people who say that I don’t have an addiction problem, but an anger issue. If I get anger management, then I’ll be able to drink/use again. This is literally putting the cart before the horse. Addiction is the primary condition and all other behaviours and consequences are a direct result of addiction and not anger or any other underlying emotion, thought or behaviour. Drink and drugs exasperate and amplify the underlying condition. An example of this is that if you are in a bad mood or angry and then start drinking, you will become even more angry.

If you want more info on anger click on the link below:

My next article is on Assertiveness, stay tuned.

The articles in "Recovery from Addiction" Series, are the opinion of the author and if you would like to contribute to it, please leave a comment in the comment box below. If you want to subscribe, for free, to any further blogs of mine please leave your email in the blue box below.

Recovery is about growth and everyone does grow at a different pace. My advice to anyone in early recovery is to wait at least 2 years before making any major life changing decisions that might have emotional ramifications. An example: get a mortgage, get married, change career, emigrate. In light of this everyone has dreams and we all do want to better our lives in one way or another, so it is important in early recovery to start to put those dreams into reality by creating achievable goals which can be reached in time. I found in my early recovery, although I had dreams, I wasn’t aware of creating goals and my life unfolded by default. It turned out well for me, but had I had clear goals, I do feel that it would have been even better.

I do try to learn from my mistakes, and that is why they are little miracles in themselves that happen for a reason. I am a growth seeking being I will continue to seek change in myself. What motivates me is the Pain – Pleasure, which moves me away from my pain points (a lack of finances, time & peace of mind) to my pleasure points (freedom of finances, time & peace of mind). The way I have found to achieve this freedom and to move away from the “Groundhog Day” of life is through on line marketing. I have taken this step into the abyss, I’m not tech savvy at all, and with the support of SFM, I am working my way through it. The internet is here to stay and is the future for all of us, so don’t get left behind because it is gaining momentum. If you want to learn what I am learning and are in a point in your life where you want change, then I offer you, through my mentors, a no obligation FREE 7 day video series to watch.

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