From depression to Joy
There was a time in my life when depression was a war I fought year after year. I became an expert at covering it up and surviving. Surviving works, even though it’s far from good enough, but it was when my life partner left me that I finally lost all the threads that held me together and I totally fell apart. This was when the book “Ask and it is given” by Esther and Jerry Hicks showed up in my life. This book became my best friend. My most loyal “aha” experience at a time when I was trying to put the pieces of the broken me back together again. This book lived on my bedside table for years. I read it again and again and I got a new broader understanding every time I did so.
Depression was no longer part of my life. I had finally come to the understanding that I could simply choose against it. It is so interesting how your perception and understanding changes over the years. There are so many wise sayings that we’ve heard our whole life that is true and make sense, but there are also a lot of sayings that plant limiting beliefs in us and holds us in a place where we don’t think change is possible. Like “You can’t teach an old dog to sit” or “ “Money doesn’t grow on trees” or “You can’t have it all” just to name a few.
Read and reread
Books that really speak to you should be reread. New understandings suddenly pop out of the book like popcorn in a hot pan when you pick it up the second time. You might think “Gosh I never read that before” Believe me, you did. You just didn’t understand it before, it didn’t sink in or it didn’t speak to you. The world is full of interesting, eye opening literature and I’m a periodic reader who loves to fill myself with new understandings.
In between I come to a place where I can’t even read one sentence without falling asleep and that’s where the good old favorites serves its purpose. It is like my mind can welcome information it has processed before, but it is not in the receiving mood for new stuff. Then the bedtime reading is short and sweet reminders, ten minutes of aha moments like ‘Oh yeah that’s right’ and ‘Oh yes I remember that.’
I feel so blessed to have had the ups AND the downs I’ve had in my life because it has made me who I am today, and the one I am today is not only a happier more conscious person but someone I truly love and respect.
The broken parts of me got mended back together again and the seams from the pieces added character and distinction. The pains we go through add depth and wisdom and one day I decided to share my story with the world. I dedicated eight months full time to complete my book “My road to me” and I poured my heart and soul into every page.
It’s not an unusual story. No rather the contrary. It’s just an honest story of how I dealt with the inner turmoil that followed a breakup from my life partner from eighteen years. I believe we are meant to share our stories so we can learn from each other. When we recognize ourselves in the emotions we go through, we relate to them and that opens our understanding from a none inclusive perspective. It’s not you (so your ego can be put aside) and at the same time it is very much you. You know exactly how it feels and you understand the thoughts and emotions that rush through head and heart.
It is where it takes you that matters. We can close up with fear to move on, get stuck in our behaviour and do the same mistakes over and over again, or we can open up in a new way we never experienced before. When the chaos, fear, turmoil and pain opened my heart. It literally cracked open! The physical pain was so immense. Today my understanding of a broken heart is that it actually “cracks open”. I honestly must say I wish for everyone to get a "cracked heart" because the love that pours from that heart is limitless.
Loving yourself unconditionally is the building block to the joy of throwing yourself head over heal into new adventures.
Loving life is the only way forward.
Passion to share
I love to wake up feeling excited to work… to share my thoughts with you guys and to influence and help you make the changes you need, to live each day with excitement and joy. To face hurdles is inevitable, but it’s how we face them that count. In every given moment we have a choice how we want to perceive it.
Patterns and believes
We are conditioned by society to think and feel a certain way depending on where in the world and which culture we’ve been brought up in. We are conditioned and we have patterns that we’ve picked up along our life journey.
To live free from haunted thought patterns we need to weed them out layer by layer. It can be a daunting process but so well worth it. Coming out on the other side free from the patterns that shaded your life is not only a sense of freedom but it is totally empowering to be in control of your life.
DEPRESSION is simply a sign that something in your life needs to shift. Old destructive thought patterns must be cleaned out and replaced with healthy empowering thoughts. New habits and choices in every day living are needed. Go with it. Explore, discover and learn new things. Find your own formula and know that there is so much more to you than what’s coming out. That’s why you feel depressed. DE PRESSED You are suppressing YOU! There's more to you that wants and needs to come out. Make no room for depression, make it none negotiable ‘Get out of my life”.
Embrace the shift. Refuce to settle without joy. Make life a joyride. Take the bumpy rides with a sense of bouncing with it instead of fighting against it. Don’t fight life, flow with it and the ride will be much smoother.
The ride is inevitable; how you choose to ride it is up to you!
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