Unfortunately, there is no Undo button on life. We have to suffer the consequences of all our decisions, good and bad.
Making bad decisions is a habit that, like all habits, takes an awful lot of work to break. It seems it is the easiest habit to start but the hardest to break. I keep looking for an “undo” button or “control z” to go back and unmake some of my greatest decisions. The problem with going back in time is that you might miss all the good stuff that has happened as a result of that one bad decision.
You see, the decisions we make and the action we take, both good and bad shape our lives. So even though there are a lot of bad decisions I have made, there has been a lot of good that has come out of it. For example, if I hadn’t married my first husband, I wouldn’t have my beautiful boys and grandchildren. I wouldn’t have had the experience of standing up for myself and walking away from a bad situation. I wouldn’t have met the wonderful people who have come into my life since leaving my husband. Most importantly I wouldn’t have met and married my current husband and had all the benefits of being loved and nurtured that this marriage has afforded me.
My son always says, “if you keep looking back, you’ll trip over moving forward”. He means that you can’t move forward with clear sight if you are constantly looking back worrying over what has or hasn’t happened. You have to just look for the advantages of the future and what is about to happen. He’s wise, my son. He doesn’t always practise what he preaches, but then when do any of us follow our own advice consistently.
My advice is to recognise the type of mistakes we have made and see where the decision came from. I tend to make decisions based on making everyone happy, with the exclusion of myself or good sense. When you see the pattern behind your decision-making process, you have a chance of breaking that pattern and habit. Look at the good decisions you have made and concentrate on how you came to make them and what was the pattern to those.
A good rule of thumb is to focus on the good things you have said; done, and experienced and try to form good habits around these.
One of the realities of existence is this: if you don’t get it right the first time, life will give you another chance to master it. If you miss your next chance, that same challenge will again present itself to you. The process continues until you get it right. This inevitable cycle is a curse if you are running away from your problems, but a blessing if you are seeking to grow through them. In every challenge lies an opportunity. Courtesy: Wally Amos in the book The Path to Success is Paved with Positive Thinking.