What is the best way to deal with a malignant covert narcissist?
Well because they prefer quantity over quality they have no time for creativity after all the luring people in and then discord creating, and then the manipulating which requires high levels of maintenance and thus consumes a lot or all of their mental energy.
So now with no mental energy they need to steal ideas from others, so they need many sources to fill that, again why they cling on to you. Thats why they are constantly seeking new, varied, diverse, scenarios, and people.
They seek out people who are valid in the community and especially eloquence they prioritize the most because thats want they want to learn the most. So... you are their teachers in disguise really, not a lover or friend or any-thing.
They think…..’Beauty you can't learn maybe but eloquence you can’.
They hang around you like Love Bomb stage for this very reason... to learn all your strengths, to steal them and all your weaknesses to use against you.
Its about them superior-fying themselves, developing, progressing in life by using people and their creativity as a means to get to the top position of control, authority, attention.
Btw negative situations/scenarios give more outcome of ideas etc, and speed up like a fast track-intense course. Everyone involved is more hyper, vigilant, alert, and throwing in as many ideas thoughts etc , like brain storming for them.
So its ideal to get things moving by brain storming for ideas, its like them saying , ‘cmon give me your stuff, lay it out now, right now'.
'I WILL get you in that state of mind, [anger, fustration, annoyed ], releasing all those wise words, punch lines, mottos, quotes, ideas, thoughts, hypothesis etc, etc'.
Whereas with positive situations they see boring, polite, well mannered, slow pace conversations, leading to nowhere soon enough. Not enough info so to say.
Secondly because they will in all this confusion be demonizing, devaluing, depressing you all along the way while they steal-brainstorm ideas from you....they will look super cool and calm, refreshed, balanced at ease and you on the side all flustered, angry, confused, ill, mentally lost it, bewildered, isolated etc, etc.
One stone Two birds.
GOT THE IDEAS , GOT YOU DOWN.
Now all the limelight and attention for them with all those great insights and ideas etc. While you on the side wasted in anger and cognitive dissonance-PTSD.
You cant have two hero's in one room ,..... so they decide to take your ideas and make you a loser while they so calmly steam ahead in life.
They will also discard or lose interest in you and come back after sometime or awhile to see what you have been up to, to steal those new exciting ideas etc that you may have learnt while they where away. To top up, recharge from you. Even if you can just give them a confidence boost but extra ideas is the cherry on top.
And whatever new learning, skill, friends, group your into they will discourage you and begin to isolate you because they don't like anyone getting ahead of them. If you don't fall for their dis-encouragement they will manipulate, gaslight, coerce to get you back down where you should be.
Ultimately they love attention and if you keep pushing through getting attention and coming across interesting to people they would like to see you off, of the planet,...period....lol [sorry for graphic detail].
They believe the whole planet should be conspiring for their plans and desires.
One, I believe is don't attract attention, lay low, keep low profile and second is be kind or nothing.
Be kind because they want to see you annoyed, flustered, angry so you must do the opposite. and nothing because they need action of some kind and you do the opposite.
These two tactics will give you the ultimate escape route, from them.
So what should you do. Be kind or nothing, civil or just ignore.
So become like the monks of Tibet, free flowing, at ease, happy to be alive with all the good and bad, purified, balanced, no ego, no desires,….in other words boring for the narcissist.
The key is to think ‘Do what you will, I am just happy to be alive with all the good and bad’.
If there is no ego, no desire, there is no game. A good way to go about this is, Be Kind or Nothing.
Shamila Khan --- Inspirational-Motivational Mentor
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