How To Put Yourself First as A Business Mum Without Feeling Guilty!

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The Other day I was on a call with my business coach.  It was a great call! I was getting loads of insights, tips and ideas I could put to use straight away which would uplift my new online business and also strengthen my other 3 existing businesses I own with my Husband. 

My kids were having a snack while I was on the call, watching TV and everyone was happy.  Now as a Mum, there are 3 sounds which get my attention straight away.  

1.  Silence!- They are up to something and I have to check it out!  Silence can be deafening!  

2.  “I need a wee”- you need to move fast!

3.  A choking sound- Panic!

So while I was in the midst of this great business call, I hear my 2 year old make a choking sound!  I dropped everything and had to go check her immediately!  The vision of her on the floor going blue was too strong!

As I got to the sofa to check her, I could see that she was absolutely fine!  She looked at me like “what?”. With a big sigh of relief and frustration, I went back to my laptop and apologised to my mentor.  She said it was absolutely fine, you can’t ignore something like that!  You just can’t turn your ‘Mummy Radar’ off!

Putting Others First 

The trouble with this though, is that the kids get put first without a thought.  I was on a really important call for my businesses and at the slight sound of a choke I dropped it without a second thought! My little girl came first and that was it.

It just goes to show how quickly we will put others, especially family first!  It is important!  But we have to watch it when this then easily translates to other situations too.  It happens at home, with businesses and when we go back to work too.  We uplift, empower and put everyone else first, and then get passed over and wonder why! 

In a conducted study, "putting everyone else first" was the third top reason given by women for not building their own financially secure future!  We are all guilty of it!

We must address this feeling of putting others first.  It shows that we put little value on our own time and ourselves compared to everyone else and it’s not fair.  When you put everyone else first you end up at the bottom of the pile!

When will it be your time?

We need to be aware of this and step into our own power.  Be aware of this and put our business and what we need to do first sometimes! At least sometimes! If we treat our business and aspirations as hobbies, that is all they will ever be.

We are part of a huge beautiful puzzle, and if we don’t fulfill our piece properly, the whole puzzle can't come together properly.

Set An Example For Our Children

It is so important to lead by example when we have children.  They watch your every move, even when you don’t realise it!  Little traits like undervaluing yourself and passing yourself up for things will rub off on them and they will grow up undervaluing themselves too.  You owe it to yourself and your children to be the best 'You' you can be!

You deserve to be successful, you have great ideas, you know you do!  Invest in yourself to raise your game as high as it can be and set a great example for your kids (especially daughters) to follow! 

“To the world you may be one person; but to one person you may be the world.” Dr Seuss

There are little eyes looking up to you, and you owe it to them to show them how amazing they can be!

How To Put Yourself First

  1. Block time for your family and time for your business.  If these blocks of time are set out clearly then there is no guilt or gray areas.  You set this time to play with the kids, do that then and only that.  Then you set this time for work, work then and only then!  You will get more done and feel better about yourself at the same time!
  2. Set clear Goals!  If you are clear on your big picture and what you are aiming for, then you know which activities are moving you closer or further from your goals. You can focus on the right things and then you will get there faster!  With a goal, it is easier to prioritise the right things.
  3. Make a plan of how to achieve your goals and then make a to-do list to for each aspect to get those things done.  when you feel like you are getting somewhere you will get a great sense of achievement
  4. Find a Business coach or Mentor so that you can use their experience to move you forward faster! They have been there and done it all before and can see the blocks you are coming up against even when you don't know they are there! I talk about this in this video too.  You can find mentors in good business friends around you or professional mentors online.  I use these guys and they have opened up all sorts of new horizons to me.  I am so glad I found them!
  5. Meditate.  I know, I know!  What sort of Mum with her own business has time for that!! Often when the world gets too much, you have too much to do and your head is going to explode, the best thing to do is just....stop.  stop and sit quietly and let that tiny quiet voice come through to help you!  Hold a question in your mind and sit still for 10 to 15 minutes and the answer will come.  there is such as a thing as a walking meditation too.  So put your little one in her pushchair if they are young enough and go for a quiet walk somewhere.  Completely focus on the sounds around you, the feeling of the earth under your feet, the smells- be totally present.  when you are present, the ego voice can't get in and you leave space for your intuitive voice to come through. Listen to your inner compass and everything will become clear again.  Take this time to put yourself first!
  6. Take some time to do something that you really love to do now and then.  paint, read, listen to something other than "the wheels on the bus"! be sure to look after yourself so that you can look after others too.  A happy you means happy kids.  You can give something away that you don't have yourself first!  You are not a sacrificial lamb!  Your existence isn't to make others happy, you must be happy too.  Set this example for your kids! Raising children is a major portion of your life so it's imperative that you enjoy this time too.  This Spark or enjoyment will filter through to your business and everything.
  7. Start a Business that you love! If you can focus your business around something that you love, something you are passionate about, then that would be a double whammy!  You can work while enjoying it and get fulfillment from it too!  Perfect!  This can be blogging, videos, affiliate marketing, creating crafts to sell, painting or writing. What do you enjoy that you can monetize? Learn how to do it properly and it can be great all round!

Don't forget about yourself in this life, you only get one!  If you put everything off until the children have grown up, it will be too late!  You are important!  You deserve to be successful and to set an amazing example for your kids to do the same!

I wish you all the luck in the world with it! Comment below, what are you doing to move forward and put yourself first?  I would love to hear from you!

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My Mission is to help Mothers make their own living online, to empower and help them become strong, independent and financially secure women.

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