Spend Time-Not Money

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Spend Time-Not Money

Hi there it's Dermot here again. As the title says, we as parents must take note. UNICEF has written a report about this subject, and an article in Secure Teen, explains this well: Reasons why parents spend less time with their kids

"Spend Time Not Money"

My article title covers two aspects of spending time vs money:

1. Spending time & not money in the context of raising your children.

2. Spending time & not money in the context that your children ARE your greatest investment.

1. Spending time & not money in the context of raising your children.

With Christmas coming up, its hard not to spend money on your kids. My 2 boys are young and are all excited for Santa and the pressies. We do spoil them at Christmas, as childhood passes so fast and before I know it they will be too old for Santa and the childhood magic of Christmas. Any parent knows that it is more self-satisfying in giving, especially to your kids, at Christmas than being an old Scrooge.

Spend Time-Not Money

For the rest of the year, as busy as you might be, it is very important to spend as much time with your kids as you can.

We live in an ever complicated World and with tools like the internet, time is becoming a most valued commodity. There are only 24 hours in the day, which are broken down to work, rest and play. We need at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep, we work at least 8 hours a day, probably spend another 2 hours commuting.

That leaves about 6 hours to do anything else, I,m being very conservative here, as many people nowadays, sacrifice sleep & free time for work time. More of us are spending more time working, either in a job or online at home. We are  "trading more & more time for money", and yes some of us might be getting financially wealthier, but at what cost? and why?

When I became a parent, and like all parents, the goal posts and priorities changed. Suddenly not only did I have to look after myself, but now I had 2 little lives, who are completely dependent on me and my wife and whom we are totally responsible for.

Spend Time-Not Money

It is a massive responsibility and cannot be taken lightly, as parents are 100 % responsible for their children and their development. I always have to remind myself that their life has been put in our care and it is up to us to do the best of our ability to help raise and prepare them for their life ahead. That is the duty and challenge of every parent, remember we are only guardians, as our kids are not our property. 

When I was growing up I never got to spend as much time as I would have liked with my Dad. He worked hard and definitely traded time for money (this link will elaborate on this). Fortunately for me, from my childhood, I have decided that I don't want to have the same kind of relationship with my son's

As a father, I traditionally believed that a father's duty was to provide the finance, through working, to pay for the children's needs. That is how I was raised, my father worked, gave money to my mum (who also worked) and that is what father's do. Simple enough, if you have a job. Was I in for a surprise when I became a dad, as the monetary side, although important, was not very high on the scale of needs and came far behind Tender Loving Care. What every child needs is love and attention, not toys, not money. It is the parents who put the priority on toys and money, not the kids. Why is this?

Getting time to do other things, like work, internet, socializing, etcetera has taken importance in today's selfish society. Children, although cute, can also be seen as a nuisance especially when they are nagging for your most precious resource, time. So what do you do? Throw money at them, buy them toys and buy yourself more time. I do it, you do it, we all do it. 

Spend Time-Not Money

Unfortunately what tends to happen here, is that our kids then become as addicted to their toys, as we do with ours. Communication breaks down, family time breaks down and what you have is a load of individuals living in one house, who are having a relationship with people on social media and growing further away from each other. A household scene today is a family sitting in their living room, tv is on and everyone is totally engrossed in their smartphones, tablets or laptops. No one speaks, bar the odd grunt in agreement or disagreement. Talking to each other is becoming a dying art. 

Not saying that there is anything bad with the internet or technology, but we have to find a balance. I and my wife love the outdoors and have introduced our kids to the great outdoors from early days. No matter what the weather (we live in Ireland) we get out each weekend for a walk, hike or cycle. It is something we Love to do and our kids also love going out and about and having an adventure. To be honest, we really enjoy the company of our kids, and that is why we spend so much time with them. 

I work in an addiction treatment center and work with both parents, who have put more attention on their drug of choice than their kids and the product of addiction, the young people who were brought up in addictive homes, who also turned to drink and drugs to cope. I have many articles on addiction so I won't elaborate here, but It is very sad to see lives that are ruined due to alcohol and drugs. The dysfunction and chaos that ensues and has ensued over generations here in Ireland, is endemic. 

Fortunately, there is now greater awareness of this chaos and dysfunction which is helping to change attitudes and each generation is getting better than the last, but there is still a long way to go.

You NEED to make time for your family and kids, I have learned this and am still learning this, as I too would put my job first, but have come to the realization that jobs are jobs and like money will come and go, but your kids will grow up very fast and time is very short.

Spend Time-Not Money

2. Spending time & not money in the context that your children ARE your greatest investment.

I had my children late in life and hadn't started a pension, or when I did it was too late (See link for an article on that). I have a permanent job, which pays the bills etcetera, and I have started affiliate marketing as my pension plan. I was very concerned and caught up on how can I provide for my kids, when they grow up, for college, to set them up in life. Should I find a better paying job, work longer hours, work 2 jobs. Panic, panic, panic.

The realization suddenly dawned on me, my kids are my investment and it's not about trying to make money to set them up for life. Again that is trading time for money, whereas you have to trade money for time, in the here and now. What we invest in our kids now - time and attention - will far outweigh all the money in the world - for their future. Now I am not depending on my kids to look after us in our old age, but that would be nice, my wife and I just want the best for our boys, and that starts now.

Now we don't claim to be the best parents in the world, but we aren't doing a bad job either.

So some tips from us to you:

1. Your children MUST come first.

2. You are their role model and they match and mirror you, so be mindful.

3. They are little learning machines and absorb everything.

4. Give them attention and listen to them.

5. Be firm but fair.

6. Show them right from wrong.

7. Have good values and they will follow and adopt your values.

8. Appraise them, encourage them & support them always.

9. Have fun with your kids and play with them.

10. Tell them you Love them all the time.

To Sum Up

So folks, remember that when you feel it necessary to "trade time for money", remember do not sacrifice that time with your kids, as you will regret it. I will leave you with a link to a song from Cat's in the Cradle, ties this article up beautifully.

Spend Time-Not Money

Now, after this article, it does seem ironic that I tell you to look into attraction marketing or that I am even doing article marketing. However, as I said earlier, this is my pension plan so it is a very long-term goal for me, but we all have to start somewhere. 

The internet is here and it is the future, so there is no point in being left behind or putting my head in the sand, so I am going to share with you what I've done, take it or leave it

Are You ready to try it out Yourself?
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Are You interested in finding out more?

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