The reasons why we break up

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We were so beautifully young when we met. Falling in love instantly. It took us only one dance to one beautiful song to fall for each other and become inseparable ever since. Our big love story was started. We never thought our love could ever end, it was unimaginable for us losing one another, our hearts were bursting with love and passion, multiplying every day. Nothing seemed as a threat to us, everything was resolvable, every challenge was accepted with courage, we were fearless. As long as we had one another we were safe in this world.

But soon we got into CRISES.

The word nobody likes. I didn’t like it that time either, I like it now. As I understood, if something is in crises it actually means it’s NOT OVER YET. It means we still have time to do something about it. The multiple crises tell us the multiple areas need our attention in a big way.

Crises simply mean there’s something happening that needs our attention!

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But we weren’t prepared to accept the crises. We didn’t know what was happening then. We just felt our comfort and safe zone was being disturbed and our focus was distracted. One of us got scared more, one less. One of us started feeling less confident. Less confident about getting through the crises unharmed, alive, if at all, less confident in our own capacity or willingness to work things out.

It broke us.

The real reasons for the separation, for the break-ups, are not the disloyalty, or misunderstanding, or being unfaithful, having affairs with other people, or money or lack of them, or jobs, lack of time, not talking together, being from different backgrounds… These are only byproducts of unwillingness to work through the crises, to look for solutions, to ask for feedback, to try to see things from other person’s perspectives and care for each other’s feelings and feel responsible also.

We were different already when we met, but we were willing to open our hearts and simply love. We had different education, but we were willing to learn together. We were coming from different backgrounds then, not only suddenly now, but we were willing to accept our differences. We used to talk all night and we didn’t miss the sleep, we didn’t have much money then and it wasn’t an issue… So what is the reason now??

It is us growing and evolving at a different speed, maturing in different areas faster and other areas not as fast as the other person.

If we don’t talk anymore, it’s not because we don’t care about the other person’s interests, we never had the same interests before but we were willing to get interested for the other person’s sake. It’s just that we are on a different level of understanding and we don’t want to settle for less.

If we don’t make love anymore it’s not because we are not passionate anymore, but we don’t feel a passion towards one another. We don’t bother to be inventive, to listen, to try something new, and the lack of resilience takes us away from one another, to somebody else’s arms, not because the other person is better, nicer or more sexy, prettier, it’s because we are looking for a compensation for what we are missing right now and the other person is providing it, rather than trying to reach forward, higher and challenge ourselves.

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So we break up.

We both eventually might come to the same assumptions but at different times. The journey to it will be different for both of us depending on our willingness to self-improvement and on the environment we expose ourselves to. Are we still going to like it when we get there? Are we still going to love each other? Or are we going to be changed people?

I am changed. After the separation I went through a transformation. I had to change because my old me didn't work anymore. I was willing to take the harder path of self-improvement and leave the blame and especially "blaming you" in the past. It didn't serve anymore. I didn't want to pull it into my future anymore, bring my old self into my new life, new relationship. It wouldn't be fair. I wanted to understand life better and to be more of a value in the future, to be more of a giver.

I had a team of mentors to helped me on my journey. I wasn't alone. Not only to teach me how to get the mindset right, to study, to reflect, read, to listen, but in continuance to stay in an alert state of mind to achieve all I want. To pursue all my goals, especially the real FREEDOM in every sense and form.

Now there's no way back to my obsolete self. No way. The journey I'm on makes me understand myself better, therefore help myself first before I can help others. Makes me understand that sometimes the separations, although painful, are inevitable for growing faster into our purpose. In practice it showed when you approach the right people, you can find a solution to problems that otherwise could seem unsolvable. I am so grateful I found them. You don't have to be alone. Don't be afraid to ask for help. There are still many good and compassionate people that are happy to help to find your meaning and purpose.

Bless,

♥Stanislava♥

to find out more about my mentors and their work that is helping me and it could help you too, click >>>here<<<

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