Having good relationships is something basic we all need to thrive in life. Harvard studies have shown that when we have deep meaningful relationships we are happier and we even live longer.
Here are 5 steps that will help you improve your relationships, I hope you like them:
When we assume or expect that our partner behaves in a certain way, we can feel very frustrated when they don´t. They will never act exactly the way we want them to because they are different than us, they are completely unique just like us, and that is also why we love them. Demanding that someone behaves the way we want or think is logical (for us) can lead us to many arguments, mainly because we are not respecting their freedom of choice. That is at least what I believe, I mean, would you like that someone chose your reactions and thoughts for you? It wouldn´t be fair. Let´s be fair.
It is so important that things are clear. We need to explain to our partner and people in general how our minds work, our emotions, what we want, what we mean when we say something... The clearer the information is, the less confusion we will experience in our relationships. Remember to pay attention to his/ her needs, you might need to negotiate some parts too. Having the courage to expose ourselves and be vulnerable explaining someone what goes on inside of us is super important. Now, we are all different and sometimes this means we can explain this better through writing, in a pretty letter, email, letter, you get the point. Sometimes through talking or through a drawing. We understand around 96% better something when it is attached to an image and we can remember 68% better too. So choose what resonates best with you, maybe a combination of all and put it into practice.
Be aware of your behavior. Sometimes we need to set boundaries and sometimes it is plain ego. When you are true to yourself and realize that a problem in the relationship is due to your ego or both´s ego; let go. Fights, resentment and other negative emotions appear in our life when we don´t let go or compete to see who wins an argument and things like that. Shake that ego of, it only leaves you feeling bad and lonely in the end.
Having fun in a relationship is sort of the "vitamins" and "minerals" of it. Laughing is a very important part of a relationship. We feel good, happy, we build funny memories that we will remember in the future with a smile. When time goes by we can give for granted that we have a partner and we forget to make an effort to make it interesting and fun. Don´t expect or wish for the other to bring back the joy when you can do it too, set the example and add new joyful memories to your story. Allow yourself to be inspired by your past self and share that playful attitude with your partner.
5. Stop Comparing:
Be on your present relationship, enjoy it fully. You are on a new journey with a different person so don´t compare him/her to others. You can say they existed, yet avoid putting them in a "scale" to see who did or does something in a particular way. I understand it is natural to compare, but if you put yourself in their shoes, would you feel good when being compared? Well, maybe when it is for the good stuff. So try only that bit ;)
If you want to watch me on youtube shortly talking about this steps you can click here.
As always, I send love;
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