My Struggle!

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My Struggle!

Little did I know, what January 2018 had in store for me?

There I was, just got Christmas over with, had a lovely time, ate delicious food, spent precious quality time with my family, I was really looking forward to going to France to see my friend for the new year and then everything changed!

One decision I made on the evening of January 7th, when I was given an ultimatum from my partner at the time changed my life, it took for this to happen for me to realise that he never had my best interests at heart and that he was truly selfish and thought only about himself and was obsessed with earning money to the extent that even after nearly eight years together he had blockages in his heart of fear and anxiety about money, commitment and acceptance. 

Even after nearly eight years together he could not trust!

I truly loved this man I thought that one day he would be the father of our child, but this day never came. There were promises, more promises that turned into broken promises.  

You see, I am not getting any younger and I do not want to miss out on being a mother this is truly my heart's desire!

This has not always been the case with me though because I travelled and I was very flighty, I never seemed the type to settle down.

The fact that all the people who knew me including my friends and family would say you will never have a child, the fact that this has been drummed into my head more times than I care to imagine I actually started to convince myself that this was the case for the rest of my life!

I like any other person has had previous relationships that have not worked out but I have to take responsibility for these too.

I am my own unique individual, I don't like to follow the crowd, I always want to be different and better my self. Most people don't understand me and this was the case with my partner at this time.

I have been asking the universe to send me positive like-minded people, people who also want to better themselves, to change their future for the better to be able to help build a better future for themselves and the people they hold dear to them. 

"Is it wrong to want to change?"

To better myself involves investing in my future, by this, I mean reading self-help books, audios attending events and listening to positive affirmations on a daily basis learning new skills and knowledge and to pass them on to others who would like to take the same path as me.

This was frowned upon, by many people who know me and cannot understand me including my partner at the time.

"Why do you feel the need to change? you are perfect the way you are!"

You see my partner did not like the positive influence surrounding me and he could see me slowly changing and becoming who I am truly meant to be myself! 

He felt threatened by friends as they have a very positive effect on me.

I had lost my own true unique identity and I had become what others wanted me to be. 

In a way he was controlling me, wanting me to live his way of life, to do what he wanted me to do.

Everyone else could see this but I was blind to it!

I was temporarily stuck going over and over the same old cycle, as my past relationships. I was on what seemed to be a hamster wheel just going round and round and round, very similar scenarios throughout all my past relationships.

If there was something I wanted to do that was different, for example, become a Forever Business Owner or join the six-figure mentors, there was no support or encouragement in anyway shape or form. Yet I supported and encouraged him in everything that he wanted to do.

I have been taught that when you are in a relationship with someone that you are complete as one

You see the good and bad in one and other, you stick around when the going gets tough, you support and encourage one and other throughout all aspects of your life!

"I have yet to experience this!"

So now I have truly broken free from his clasp, I have the freedom to pursue my dreams, desires and ambitions.

I love to write blogs, songs and poems this is a great way for me to express my creativity and talents and it helps with the healing process.

I am now working on my online business, learning and studying and I am really enjoying myself, the SFM community has been amazing!

I have finally worked up the courage to start my 90-day video challenge, which I was told I did not need to do by my recent partner but I don't have to listen to him anymore!

I am my own person, I can make my own decisions and I can make choices its called FREEDOM!

If you have enjoyed reading my blog Please comment below and like and share on social media platforms.

Have a super fantastic day!


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